Page 142 of Call Me Mrs. Taylor

I’m oddly calmed by his words, but I shake my head. “I don’t—“ I stop before I can sayI don’t know if that’s true.

“Raya.” His voice is low and steady. “You know that, right?”

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I try to nod. I can’t. My head won’t move.

Instead, I break.

I squeeze my arms around myself as my shoulders shake, misguided in my attempt to contain the emotion pouring out of me. I never let myself cry in front of people unless I need to perform. No cracks in my foundation. But Ace…he pulled this out of me, and it feelsreal.

His arms encircle me, warm and solid, pulling me against his chest. His hand moves up and down my back, slowly soothing me. “It wasn’t your fault,” he murmurs into my hair. “Don’t hold onto that shit, Ray. It ain’t yours to carry.”

I wanna believe that.

Sobbing into his chest feels…cathartic. I don’t know that I’ve ever really cried about this. I think I convinced myself I didn’t care, that I wouldn’t let what men do break me down. Ever. But I’m broken right now.

Maybe that’s what I needed.

My fingers grip his skin, my body melting into his like he’s the only thing holding me together.

"I wish I could take your pain away." He presses a kiss to my temple. “Have you thought about talking to somebody?”

I stiffen.

He feels it. “Raya.”

“No.” My voice is sharp again. “I don’t want to.”

He doesn’t push, just holds me tighter.

My tears stop, but my nose runs on. I sniffle, wipe with my sleeve, and stay right where I am. Where I feel safe.

The realization washes over me, warm and comforting.

Finally, I pull back to look up at him.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “For being such a good man.”

Something soft flickers in his eyes.

I reach up, brushing my fingers along his jaw, tracing the sharp line of it. “And I’m sorry. For the way I’ve been with you.” I exhale a quiet, self-deprecating chuckle. “I don’t know any other way to be. Nobody ever gives me what I want. Like, I wanted to be safe, and nobody gave me that. I wanted to be loved, and nobody gave me that. Nobody gives anybody anything, so…” I trail off, wiping my nose again. “I find ways to get what I need from people.”

Ace cradles my face in his hands. “You don’t have to do that with me, Raya.” His thumbs stroke my wet cheeks. “I see the real you. I love so much about you. Your confidence. Your attitude. Your determination.” His eyes search mine. “You just need to use that shit for good instead of evil.”

A slow smile spreads across my lips. “But that sounds so boring.”

He huffs out a laugh, then leans in and kisses me. It’s deep. Devouring. He definitely means it.

I let him pull me under. The heat builds between us as my body melts into his. I need to feel him. I need him to ground me in reality before I float away, buoyed by my own unburdening.

He fucks me slowly and tenderly. It’s not my favorite style, but it shows me how he feels. I feel closer to him than I’ve ever been, even without the title. Even without the ring. And I ask myself if I really need those things, because maybe Ace is enough. Maybe I don’t have to control this outcome. Maybe it’s okay, maybe it’ssafeto lay back and let it happen like I’m doing right now.

I lock my ankles at the small of his back, pulling him deeper, my body desperate to swallow every last inch of him. My fingers tease their way up his arms, over the flex of his biceps, until I find his hand.

I bring it to my neck.

Ace freezes, just for a second, his eyes full of lust and hesitation. His thumb brushes my throat, and I know he feels how fast my heart is racing.

“Safe word?”

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