Page 78 of Make The Cut

“Good because Naoya isn’t who you think he is.” The words flow out of my mouth. It’s probably a mistake, but who cares? I’ve made so many mistakes in these past three months, what’s another one? “I know how this sounds, but he didn’t cheat on me or anything like that.”

“You don’t have to cheat on someone to hurt them,” she says gently.

“I just… I wish he would open up to me. It’s like he refuses to get over his dad.”

“What did his dad do?” A twinge of curiosity sneaks into Skye’s tone.

“He cheated on Naoya’s mom.” I sigh.

“Oh.” Her shoulders slump, her face going white, and she drops her spoon into the ice cream. “God. That’s terrible.”

I can tell from her expression that she’s thinking about Leo’s dad, who knocked up his mom and then went on to go through a string of other women before going to jail for assaulting Skye’s sister.

“Yeah.”

The air conditioning kicks in, and I listen to its low hum before continuing.

“He’s… I don’t know if he’s ever forgiven him for that. They still talk from time to time, but he found out that his dad is getting remarried to his mistress.” I swallow, lowering my voice. “And that he has a sister from that relationship.”

Her eyes widen. “Wow. Um. Just… wow.”

“You’re not going to tell anyone about this.”

She crosses her heart. “Not even Leo.”

“Thanks. I just… I need to get this all off my chest.” I shake my head. “I know it has to be a lot for him… But it feels like he’s letting the pain his dad caused him get in the way of what we could be. I think we could have a future together. But he wants it to be clouded by his past.”

“It has to be hard for him,” Skye says. “Maybe he just needs time.”

“He’s had years.”. My voice cracks. “Maybe I’m selfish, but… He’s had so much time. And he’s never let himself get over it. I feel like he justwantsto be angry at him, like he justwantsto refuse to let himself be happy. Like he’s punishing himselfandhis dad. His dad’s moved on and he’s getting married. Why can’t he move on, too?”

“You can’t dictate how people respond to these things, Poppy.”

“I know. I know I can’t, I just… Why?” I press my face into my hands. “Why don’t I matter enough to him, for him to want to let go of this? Why don’t I matter enough to him that he wants to move on?”

“It’s not a question of whether you matter enough, Poppy.” She nudges my knee with her foot under the table. “Sometimes… Maybe he’s scared. Maybe you matter so much to him that he’s scared of fully letting go, because he doesn’t want to give it all and have it not work out.”

“God, I hope that’s the case. It doesn’t hurt any less, though.”

“It never does. You just have to suffer through it.” One side of her mouth quirks up and she takes a bite of her sundae.

I stir the melted puddle at the bottom of my bowl. “Stop being so wise. I want you to tell me to dump him and move on.”

“Well, do youwantto dump him and move on?”

“No… I mean… I want to tell Ryder that we’re dating, but I can’t. They hate each other’s guts. Ryder would probably back over Naoya with his car and make it look like an accident.”

Skye laughs. “I think you underestimate your brother.”

“Underestimate his conniving tactics, you mean. And his ability to hold a grudge.”

She shakes her head but doesn’t contradict me. “You’re going to have to tell Ryder eventually.”

I know I will. I just don’t even know if there will be anything to tell him about.

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Naoya Sugawa

After Poppy left my house last night, Ryder showed up to snag a pair of sunglasses he’d left behind and do a last-minute rehearsal. For once, I was grateful to see him, even if it was just because he took my worries off my mind by causing me to become completely annoyed with his general presence.

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