Page 28 of Make The Cut

We banter back and forth until the cameras stop rolling. I didn’t realize my shoulders were tense or that my posture was hunched over, until the recording light stops flashing red. I feel like a balloon with too much helium in it, being slowly deflated.

“So, want to get some food at a restaurant thatwon’tcause me to accidentally commit arson?” I ask Poppy as we walk out of the restaurant, resting my hand on the small of her back.

“I don’t know…” She rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet. “I have a date.”

“Oh.” The balloon has now gone from being slowly deflated to being punchedhard. “I didn’t know you were interested in seeing anyone after what happened with your ex.”

“I’m not. Sasha and Colie just set up a dating profile for me, for fun. They put a lot of work into finding me a guy who is not a stalker, psychopath, murderer, or hung up on his ex, so I have to respect their effort and go on a date.”

“That’s your standard? A guy who’s not a criminal and has gotten over his ex?” I frown as we slide back into the waiting limousine. “Don’t you have any higher aspirations for a romantic partner?”

“I’m not looking for a romantic partner after everything that happened…ugh.” Poppy avoids my gaze. “As I said, I’m just trying to appease my friends.”

“Does this guy know you’re just using him to please your friends?” I don’t know why I’m asking her any of these questions. Why do I care about whoever she dates? She’s my friend and employee.

Not a girl I’m trying to seduce or attract.

“That’s none of your business.” She unzips her purse and applies lipstick in her compact mirror. “I never askyouif the girls you date know they’re being used for… whatever.”

I don’t want those girls.

I want—

“Fine. Sue me for worrying about you as a friend.”

She leans forward and taps on the partition. “Can you drop me off at NoMad? Thanks.”

A sinking feeling opens up in the pit of my stomach, ready to swallow me whole.

I feel the same rift opening between me and Poppy, and I’m not sure why.

* * *

THE COMMENT SECTION OF MAKE THE CUT’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL

@rbfofficial478:I can’t believe Naoya Sugawa has a YT channel with his worst enemy’s sister. Romeo and Juliet much?

@ttang:you’re hung up on him having a channel with his worst enemy’s sister? What about the fact that he almost lit the chef on fire? That was HILARIOUS

@fangirlofnaoya:He’s not into Poppy. No one’s even heard of her until they found out she was behind that stupid gossip blog. They’re only putting her on camera because they want more *drama* so people will watch the talent show

@rando903:I just subscribed to this channel because of 5:47-8:23. Naoya Sugawa’s face KILLED me when he knocked over the wine and practically burned the whole restaurant down.

@sasha:thisseries is so weird. I love it

Chapter Fourteen: Naoya Sugawa

I bounce the same blue rubber ball against my wall for countless minutes and wait for cracks to form. At least seeing some physical damage to the structure of my house, while inconvenient, would be somewhat satisfying. It would prove that what I’m doing has an effect, instead of being a useless ripple in a vast ocean, insignificant and pointless. Instead, the wall remains pristine, and my phone stays silent.

I don’t know why it matters so much to me that Poppy has a date. Maybe because in all the time that we’ve been friends, she’s never told me about any of them. If she has, it’s always been in a dismissive or demeaning way, telling me about one guy’s disgusting habit of flossing his teeth at the table or another man’s irritating quirk of rapping along to Jay-Z every time they were at a red light. Or, yet another wannabe’s desire to be introduced to her famous brother.

She’s never told me about a date that went well. I’ve wondered if she’s been the female version of me, drifting endlessly in a sea of faces, all perfectly symmetrical with nothing interesting behind them. But maybe not. Maybe she wants to settle down and have three kids and move to Kentucky like her parents.

The thought of losing her to some guy in a cowboy hat who likes to fish makes me irrationally angry. I bounce the ball one last time before catching it and throwing it in the trash can. It misses and recoils off the rim.

Just as I bend down to pick up the ball, the phone rings.Red, with a flower emoji next to her name, is calling. I snatch it up in an embarrassingly desperate fashion. “Hey, Red.”

“Lucky.” I hear the smile in her voice. “I hope I didn’t take you away from a hot date.”

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