Page 64 of For The Record

“Like what, exactly?”

“I just don’t understand why you didn’t help him, Skye.” Poppy’s voice softens from rage to confusion, her nails tapping against the quartz counter.

I stare at the grey carpet, noticing a coffee stain on the corner. “Because…”

Why didn’t you help him, Skye?

“Because maybe if you had, you wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe he would have just gotten an agent, and…”

“And we would still be together, and it would be so much more convenient for you, right? Your best friend and your brother, living happily ever after?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Poppy swipes at a mascara-streaked tear. “I just wanted the best for both of you, but it’s like being in the middle is pulling me apart.”

I bite my lip. “I’m sorry, Pops. I know it was selfish of me, to ask you to choose, and it was wrong of me, not to think of how it was hurting you. I was so consumed by the breakup… everything I felt like I lost… that I didn’t realize you had lost something, too.”

She sniffs. “Whatever. It’s fine. I just, I still don’t get why you wouldn’t help him find an agent.”

I shake my head. “He was using me! And maybe I was using him, too. We never loved each other. We might have been happy together, but it was fleeting. Ryder is in love with music. Everyone else he dates is just a mistress.”

“Playing second fiddle,” Poppy says drily, unable to resist a pun.

“When you grow up rich and famous… Yes, it’s easier than being dirt-poor. It’s easier than being without. But everyone looks at you less like a person, and more like a public figure. You’re either a doll that they can gossip and make up stories about or an ATM to them. And I know I had it lucky, and I grew up with connections, but… I don’t know. I guess part of me thought, that if he tried hard enough, he’d make it on his own merit. I didn’t want to believe that success was about connections. I wanted to believe that he was good enough to make it on his own. And I know, that wasn’t my decision to make for him, but…”

“I get it,” she says.

“You do.

“Yeah. You wanted him to succeed on his own without wondering if his entire career was only because of his girlfriend.” She hugs me. “I would’ve done the same thing.”

“You would?”

“No, but I understand where you’re coming from, now.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Can I have the fifty bucks?”

“Yeah, totally.” I pull out my wallet from my purse, Ryder’s gold bracelet glinting in the dim light. I pass her the fifty.

The longer I stare at the bracelet, the more it feels less like holding on to hope and more like a shackle, an anchor, pulling me down. I unclasp and lay it on the coffee table.

My wrist feels lighter. It seems like I’m finally leaving the past behind.

#

@TheRyderBlack: Doing a follow spree! Ask me a question and maybe I’ll follow you back

@Ttang: what’s the next single going to be? @TheRyderBlack

@NaiaK: Why did you and Skye break up? @TheRyderBack

Chapter 30: Leo Perez

Raina’s phone call jolts me awake around midnight.

“It’s an… emergency,” she says, her hiccupping interspersed with sobs. “Can I stay with you?”

“Of course,” I say automatically. My mind swarms with possibilities. What happened? Is she at a party in a bad part of L.A.? Where my parents live is hardly Topanga Canyon, but they’re well-off enough. Is she in danger? What if she’s being held up by a stranger with a gun? “Do you need me to pick you up?”

---