Page 71 of On the Beat

Ryder shifts his beer bottle to his other hand, resting his free one on my knee, right where the hem of my sundress ends. “When we get engaged, you’ll be the first one I call, Gloria.”

That comes to mollify her somewhat. “I call maid of honour.”

I can’t even picture us getting engaged. Or maybe the problem is that I can. I can see it all too well in my mind’s eye, and I can see an entire future with a man who—

A man whose future vastly diverges from mine.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” I take her beer from her.

She protests.

Trying to grin at her past the lump in my throat, I say, “I was saving you. Your mother is on her way over here.”

Chapter 33: Ryder Black

The crowd of partygoers has dispersed somewhat, leaving only the core members of the family, who are helping to clean up and remove the last few stragglers. As I survey the yard, I see that the food is mostly gone, the lime-green party streamers lie lifeless on the grass, and the pyramid of limes is slightly bruised and has been used for mojitos, guacamole, and other food and beverage items that I can’t even begin to discern (maybe tucked into the guests’ pockets as they left).

Paulo and I have been placed on dish duty. Well, I think it was supposed to be me and Isla, but she was summoned away by her aunt to go do something else, and Paulo agreed to step in.

With me up to my elbows in soapy suds, Paulo is at my side with a towel to try and replace the various bowls, cups, and plates.

Paulo clears his throat. “I know I gave you a hard time about throwing a party for me, but I appreciate what you and Isla did. Even if big parties aren’t usually my thing, I know you guys just wanted me to have fun. And, it’s always nice to see you two getting along.”

“Funny, I could have sworn you said we were ‘gross,’” I say.

“Did you talk to her yet?” Paulo nudges my elbow with his own, a little too forcefully. I wince as I nearly break a dish, chipping it slightly against the sink.

I pass him the chipped plate. “Talk to who about what?”

“Playing innocent just makes you look dumb.”

“I forgot that you know me better than I know myself.” I give him the kind of smile that I’d give to any of my family members, the kind of exasperated love that never fades. “I did talk to Isla about our relationship. We’re good.”

“That’s all you have to say about it?”

“I’m beginning to suspect you have a gossipy teenage girl hidden deep inside your soul. What’s with the third degree?”

Paulo pauses, and we both work in silence, washing and drying in synchronized movements. I know he wants to tell me that he’s being protective of Isla. I’m sure that’s what he’ll say, that he cares about his cousin and is as protective of her as he would be over Gloria. I wait for him to say all those things.

Instead, what he says strikes me to the core, a knife hitting bone.

“I want to know because I’m worried aboutyou, Ryder.”

I keep washing the dishes on autopilot until I realize that the sponge no longer forms bubbles when I squeeze it. Hunting for the bottle of dish soap, I search for the words to say.

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

“As your oldest friend, it’s my duty to worry about you.”

“I don’t think we’re each other’s oldest friends.”

“I’m the oldest friend that you still talk to.”

Thatistrue. The few acquaintances I ate lunch with in high school have either faded into obscurity or popped up from the woodwork after seeing me on TV. They were all fake fame-seekers or just never cared about me that much to begin with. Paulo is, well, he’s different.

He’s always cared, in a solid, steady, reliable way. He’s the kind of friend you can always rely on to be the designated driver at parties (not that we went to many). The kind of friend whose trustworthiness, whose loyalty, is unquestionable, unwavering, who would probably have your back if you were knocked out in a bar fight, who’d lie to the cops for you. I’ve always wanted to be the same kind of friend to him. Have I?

“You’re the only friend I stillwantto talk to,” I admit. “I guess you deserve the truth for that. More than deserve it.”

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