Page 74 of Dark Rebel's Reckoning

"Add 9 to both sides," she muttered, pencil hovering over the paper. "Then 4x = 24. Then divide…"

46

FENELLA

Fenella flipped through the pages of an old magazine she'd found on the table in the waiting room, not paying attention to the gossip articles that were old news or the Photoshopped pictures of celebrities that looked too good to be real and obviously weren't.

Not unless they were flawless immortals.

She'd been a pretty girl before her transition, but the subtle changes that followed smoothed out all the little imperfections, making her skin flawless, almost luminous, and her hair thick and glossy. Her figure was perfect no matter how much junk she stuffed down her throat or how much alcohol she consumed.

Makeup was no longer necessary.

Fenella had more trouble pushing men away than attracting them, and after five decades of that, she was pretty sick of that whole sexual dance. Men just weren't that great even though they thought they were, and she would have gladly done without, but another aspect of her changed physique was an almostinsatiable libido. So, even though her mind and heart weren't into men and sex, her body was.

Next to her, the girls were talking with Jasmine and Kyra in hushed voices, but she tuned them all out. They were a family, and she was an outsider. The sooner she could carve out her own space, the better.

As the patient door opened and Laleh emerged, Fenella tensed.

She'd waited until all of them were done, and now that it was her turn she couldn't let them know she was nervous, not after all her tough talk about just getting it done and moving on. She'd offered to go last to buy herself time to steel her nerves.

Fifty years of solitary survival had taught her to project fearlessness even when she was terrified, and she was maintaining that façade with practiced precision right now.

"Fenella?" Dr. Bridget called from the doorway. "Ready when you are."

"Coming." She dropped the magazine on the table and rose with a casualness she didn't feel. She flashed the girls a reassuring grin. "No need to wait for me. I'll see you upstairs. Don't eat all the ice cream before I get there."

Laleh's eyes widened. "There is ice cream?"

"Three different flavors," Fenella said as she walked into the examination room. "Check the freezer."

Once the door closed behind her, Fenella felt her carefully constructed bravado begin to crack. Despite looking nothing like the cell she'd been kept in, it was small, and the sight of the tray with all the vials waiting for her blood triggered unwelcome memories.

The nurse handed her a container to pee in and a folded hospital gown. "The bathroom is through there." She pointed at the door. "You know what to do, right?"

"Pee in the cup and try not to pee on my hand." She winked at Gertrude before ducking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

There had been no bathroom in the cell, so this one should not have evoked bad memories, but it still looked like something that belonged in a hospital and Fenella hated it.

After taking off her clothes, she did her business in the cup, screwed the lid tight, and wrapped the thing in a paper towel in case a few drops had missed the container. She put the gown on without bothering to tie it in the back and walked into the room.

"You can put the cup next to the sink, then hop on the bed and give me your arm," the nurse said with too much cheerfulness in her voice. "It's just a standard blood draw. All you'll feel is a small pinch, and we'll be done before you know it."

Fenella nodded, sitting on the bed and extending her arm while focusing on a watercolor landscape on the opposite wall. The painting depicted a mountain stream winding through a meadow dotted with wildflowers, and she imagined herself walking through it, using it as an anchor against the memories threatening to pull her under.

"You're quiet," Bridget observed as she prepared her instruments. "How are you feeling?"

"Peachy," Fenella replied, her Scottish accent thickening as it always did when she was nervous. "Just eager to get this over with."

The doctor's smart eyes saw more than Fenella was comfortable with. "If there is anything that is bothering you or anything that you want to get off your chest, feel free to say it. This is a safe space."

A bitter laugh escaped before Fenella could stop it. "Yeah. Safe space." She hadn't intended to sound mocking. "Sorry," she added. "It's been a rough few... decades, really."

Bridget nodded, waiting for Gertrude to finish.

It took a while to fill all those blood collection tubes, but when it was finally done, Gertrude collected the tray and the pee sample and rushed off to the lab they had in the back of the clinic.

"I'm impressed that you can do everything in house," Fenella said as she lay down on the hospital bed.

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