Page 79 of Break My Fall

“He’s brought flowers, coffees, and CFA.” Lucy wiped a crumb from her lip. “What do you suppose he will do tomorrow?”

“Nothing.” Meredith eyed the quickly vanishing tray of delights. “I’m going to put a stop to this.”

Meredith stood in the door of Gray’s office. “We need to talk.”

“Words no man ever wants to hear, but okay. Close the door behind you if you will.”

She did and took a seat in the chair across from his desk. She cleared her throat. “Thank you for the Chick-fil-A. It was delicious. I managed to save myself one biscuit from the rabid scavengers who helped themselves to the food. It was all wonderful.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Why are you doing this, Gray?”

“Doing what?”

“Don’t play coy.”

Every sign he’d ever seen that told him he needed to get out of a situation blared in his brain. He ignored them all. She was here. She wanted answers. And he was done with any kind of dishonesty. Miscommunication and missed signals were for teenagers still trying to figure out who they were.

They were adults and adults could have hard conversations. He hoped. “Are you sure you want the answer?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. But remember, you asked for it.”

She eyed him warily as he walked to the chair beside her and sat on the edge.

“I’m sorry, Meredith. I’m sorry for leading you on. I’m sorry for being confusing. I’m sorry for being a jerk.”

Her cheeks flamed. “You forgot about being sorry for kissing me.”

“I most definitely didn’t forget about kissing you. And I can’t apologize for that because saying I’m sorry would be a lie. Ishouldbe sorry, but I can’t seem to manage it.”

Meredith tilted her head. “I think I might be more confused than I was when I walked in here.”

“These aren’t apology gifts, Meredith. Well, I mean, they can be. They partly are. But that’s not the real reason for them.”

“Okay.” She drew the word out.

“This is my way of trying to break the ice between us. To open a path of communication. Maybe to give me a chance to worm my way into your affections? I’m trying to show you that I pay attention to you. That I’ve been watching you—in a completely non-creepy way, of course—since the first time you walked in. I know you love coffee and Chick-fil-A, and I wanted you to know that I know.”

Meredith’s brow crinkled adorably when she was confused. “I ... don’t ... um ... you’re going to have to be more specific. Because I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t understand why you’re saying it.”

If he told her he was in love with her, that might be a step too far. Especially at this stage in the process. But he wouldn’t, couldn’t, lie to her. Not if he wanted them to have a chance.

“I made a huge mistake.”

She watched him warily.

“I was so sure that there was no room in my life for relationships that whenever I was with you, or around you, I tried to convince myself that what I was feeling for you was friendship. And even though I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, I tried to tell myself that the intensity of what I feel for you was just the protective nature any man would have toward his best friend’s sister, or cousin, or whatever.”

Meredith pinched her lips together like she was trying not to say something.

“I know it was stupid, but it was a defense mechanism.” He leaned closer to her. “I’m not afraid of love. But I am afraid of losing someone I love. I’ve survived so many losses that I’m not sure I could survive another one.”

He leaned back. “I don’t expect you to trust me. Or forgive me. But I hope you will. Because I want to see what a relationship with you looks like. I want to talk to you in the morning and hear your laughter over the phone in the afternoon. I want to love every moment of our lives here in Gossamer Falls, but I also want to visit Iceland and New Zealand with you.”

Her eyes—her gorgeous, expressive eyes—told him he’d shocked her, and maybe not in a good way.

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