Page 71 of Break My Fall

She turned then. Her eyes were dry. Her expression pained but not gentle. “You can do whatever you want, Gray. I can’t stop you. But fair warning. When I see you, my walls grow higher. When I hear your laughter, they harden. And when I remember what it felt like to have you hold me, then push me away? I build faster.”

Her words ripped through him like shrapnel. He had no idea what she saw when she looked at him, but he made no effort to hide the pain. He didn’t enjoy the agony searing through him, but he’d take it. Their relationship was like a broken limb that hadn’t been set properly. It had to be rebroken so it could heal.

She turned and left without a backward glance.

He watched until she was out of sight, then returned to his vehicle. It wasn’t until he was almost home that he realized Meredith still had his phone.

And hope, that audacious rascal, settled into his bruised heart.

NINETEEN

Meredith woke the next morning and, for the first time since she’d moved home to Gossamer Falls, considered calling in sick. She could have her office manager reschedule her patients. She could stay in her pajamas. She could read or watch TV. She could sleep. Sleep would be good.

She didn’t hurt in her sleep.

In sleep, she didn’t have to slow her heart rate and breathing rate when she remembered the way Gray said she’d torn down his walls and that her laughter had the power to destroy the stones he wanted to rebuild with.

In sleep, she didn’t flush with remembered embarrassment every time she thought about what she’d said to Gray.

She’d been cruel. She’d taken the loving things he’d said to her and used them as weapons against him.

She’d hurt him, and then she’d walked away.

She piled on the self-recrimination until her snooze went off. Then she threw back the covers and went downstairs. The phone—his phone—sat on her counter. Taunting her. It was his private phone, not his work phone, so she hadn’t stressed about returning it last night. But she would have to return it to him this morning.

The best plan would be to take it to the police station. She could leave it with the front desk and make sure they told him.

But taking it to the police station meant running the risk of seeing him. It wasn’t a large building. He could hear her talking, or see her park, and come out. She couldn’t handle seeing him today.

Or, maybe, ever.

But definitely not today.

She left for work, still undecided about what to do with the phone that now rested in her purse. Her new phone rang five minutes after she pulled onto the main road.

Mo had been in Asheville and had stopped by their cell provider and had everything transferred from her backups on the cloud and onto a new phone before she even went to sleep. She still had her old number and everything. It was good to have a tech geek in the family.

Mo had known she was upset last night, but he hadn’t pressed her to spill her guts. Instead he’d handed her the phone, hugged her tight, and then when the dam broke on her emotions, he held her while she cried.

She was so tired of crying. But she was also tired of being afraid. Of looking at every friend with suspicion. Of asking Mo to scan her home, her car, and her clothing for bugs. Of being relieved when they weren’t there, but also afraid that they might have missed something.

She missed singing in her car and talking to herself as she got ready for the day. But how could she do any of that when there was a chance someone was listening?

And mostly she was tired of being alone with all of it. She couldn’t talk to Gray. And she didn’t want to keep burdening Mo or Cal with her drama.

Poor Mo. He’d been the one to bear the brunt of her emotions lately, and last night was no exception.

When her tears had finally dried up, he rested his chin on her head and asked, “Are you sure you don’t want me to kill him?”

“I’m sure.”

“I have some new ideas—”

“No.”

“Offer stands.”

She knew he was joking. She also knew he was so angry with Gray that he could hardly see straight, which made the fact that he’d sent Gray after her even more telling. Mo had been truly afraid for her last night.

---