Page 70 of Break My Fall

But ... Meredith. Not that his feelings toward her had ever been brotherly in nature. His feelings were the kind that would get a man punched in the face by a big brother. He’d been fighting them since the day she waltzed into his office and told him she was giving the place a makeover.

And he’d succeeded in ignoring them, or at least not thinking about them too much, until that moment in her shop when she’d slid into his arms and he’d known he was hers.

And then he’d stupidly convinced himself that he could stay away from her and that eventually his feelings would go away.

He’d been so wrong.

She turned then and slid the phone into her back pocket. “You’re still here.” She was going for cool, calm, and disinterested. He could tell. But she was too frustrated, maybe even angry, to be successful.

“I am.”

She tilted her head to the side and gave him the fakest smile he’d ever seen. And he’d seen some doozies. “Chief Ward.” Her voice was sweeter than cotton candy.

“Yes, Dr. Quinn?”

She kept up the smile and the accent and the ditzy attitude. “I sure do appreciate you performing your civic duty and rushing out here to rescue me, but as you can see, I’m no damsel in distress.” She stood straight and lost the vapid expression. Her next words were clipped and so hard they could have cut through granite. “You’re on private property.Myproperty. And I’d like you to leave.”

She had a point. He glanced around to get his bearings, then walked ten yards away from her and sat on a fallen log.

She blinked. Ah, yes, there was the princess coming out. She’d expected him to do as she requested. Well, demanded.

And he had. Technically.Your ball, Meredith.

“Was I unclear?”

“Nope.”

“Then why are you still here?”

“I’m not.”

She blinked twice. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not on your property, Dr. Quinn.”

She glanced around, and he saw the precise moment she understood. He gave her a few seconds to stew about it before he spoke. “I’m not here as the chief of police. I came as a private citizen at the request of a friend. And, as a private citizen, I have an open invitation to the property of Cal Shaw.” He pointed to the tiny marker that Cal had shown him once. “And I’m on his property now.”

If she’d fought back, he could have kept up the pretense, but she didn’t. She threw up her hands. “Fine. Sit there. I don’t care. I’m going home.”

She turned and walked away, and there was so much hurt and defeat in her posture, Gray couldn’t take it. He called out to her, “I’m sorry.”

She whirled around. “Don’t say that to me.” Her voice vibrated with fury and pain. “Don’t.”

He wanted to go to her. To grab her and hold her and beg for forgiveness, but he didn’t have that right. He could have had it, but he’d been an idiot. If he wanted those rights, he’d have to work hard, so hard, to earn them. He shouldn’t try. He’d made his choices and he should live with them.

She turned to go, and he lost the battle. “Meredith?”

She didn’t turn but she did stop. He expected exasperation, maybe anger. What he got was a sad, “What?”

He didn’t know if this was the time, place, or right way to do this. But he couldn’t let her walk away from him thinking he didn’t care. “I’m a flawed, broken man. I know this. I’ve known it for a long time. And I used that knowledge to build walls around my heart that no one has ever breached. Until you. And when the walls fell, instead of saying thank you, I pushed you away and tried to rebuild them, higher and stronger and even more impenetrable than they were before.”

She wasn’t moving, so he kept talking.

“But the thing is, I can’t seem to manage it. Every time I try, I remember how it felt to hold you, and they crumble around me. I hear your laughter and the stones I’ve gathered disintegrate to dust.”

She didn’t respond, but she didn’t run away. That was good. Maybe.

“Iamsorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I fought against my feelings and yours. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I do want you to have fair warning. I’m going to try to win you back.”

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