Page 51 of Break My Fall

“Just one?” Sounded to him like there were about a thousand.

“For the past few months, you’ve been playing some kind of weird hot-and-cold game with me. Some days, I thought there was hope. Some days, I was sure you were clueless. But one thing that can’t be disputed is that you’ve been taking extra care of me. You’ve provided extra security and done the kind of things that,oh, I don’t know, a man might do when he has feelings for a woman but he hasn’t acknowledged them.”

“Or maybe”—Gray leaned over her desk—“they were the kind of things a man might do if he’d already lost a sister, a mother, and a foster mother, and didn’t want his friends to experience the same pain.”

Meredith sat back in her desk chair like she’d been punched. “Can you honestly tell me that’s why?”

“I can honestly tell you that’s why I thought I was doing it.” Although he now realized that there was clearly more going on.

“Here’s what I know.” Meredith stood and walked around her desk. “I will always be sorry for what you’ve experienced. While I never met them, neither your sister, your mother, nor your foster mother would have ever wanted you to live a loveless life. But you’ve lied to yourself about what you want and why. You’ve lied to yourself about me.” She pressed her hand to her heart. “You kissed me, Gray! And you had an opportunity to break free of the deception you’ve been operating under, but you chose to dive back into it instead of taking a leap of faith and exploring something that could have been beautiful.”

She walked to her door and paused on the outside, arm extended in a clear sign that he was dismissed. “But you no longer need to expend any energy worrying about me. Should I require any further assistance from Gossamer Falls law enforcement, I will direct my inquiries to your officers. Goodbye, Chief Ward.”

Gray didn’t know how he’d expected this to go down, but he hadn’t seen it ending this way. He paused as he walked past her. “I realize it’s cliché, but—”

She held up a hand. “I realize you don’t plan to have children, so maybe you don’t care, but if you place any value on the tenderest parts of your body, I strongly suggest you do not say anything about friendship to me.”

Gray stepped away from her. He didn’t want to give her any opportunity to follow through on her threat. She didn’t follow him, and he paused at the door and looked at her. “Iamsorry, Meredith.”

There was no give in her face. No compassion in her eyes. And when he’d gone outside, the only goodbye she gave him was the click of the door as she locked it behind him.

FOURTEEN

One week later, Gray sat at his kitchen table and reread the email that had landed in his inbox on Thursday.

Our man on the inside says there’s a wedding coming up in a few weeks. Any chance you can crash it?

He’d lost count of how many times he’d read that message. And it was the same every time.

He pulled the legal pad he’d been taking notes on toward him and studied the circles and lists and arrows. There was a connection here. There had to be. Something that would make it all clear.

But he couldn’t find it.

He flipped the pages over and started with a blank sheet. At the top of the page, he wroteThe Problem in Neesonin block letters.

Underneath it he wrote three headings:Drugs,Trafficking,LEO Involvement.

When he’d come to Gossamer Falls, one of the first things the hiring board did was cover the issues in the nearby counties. There were unique conflicts with each of their neighbors, but Neeson was the problem child. Everyone knew it, and as Meredith’s comments at dinner had indicated, they’d known for decades. Theymight not have had a handle on the specifics, but the people of Gossamer Falls knew enough to keep their kids out of Neeson.

His brain hiccupped as the image of Meredith sitting at her parents’ table wormed its way into his thoughts.

He’d seen her twice since the debacle last Saturday. He still had no idea how he’d gone from sharing his greatest heartache and her sobbing like her heart was shattered to her calling him a liar and telling him she never wanted to speak to him again.

He’d been a jerk. He would own that. But he wasn’t a liar. He’d told her the truth. And after the way she’d reacted? He hadn’t known she had that level of mean in her. So it was probably for the best.

He tapped the pen on the table.

But ... had he lied with his behavior? He could see her perspective on that. She had no way to know how hard he’d worked to keep his distance. Or how much he’d wrestled with his feelings toward her.

And then there was the kiss. He didn’t believe in accidental kisses. It was extraordinarily difficult to fall into someone else’s lips with your own. And then to stay stuck there? Spend a few blissful moments exploring? No. Kisses might not be planned, but they weren’t accidents.

The knock on his door dragged him back to the present. “It’s open.”

“Shouldn’t the police chief set a good example for his citizens by keeping his door locked?” Cal Shaw came in and walked straight to Gray’s kitchen.

“Iamsetting a good example. I’m saying, ‘We’re safe here.’ I’m also saying, ‘I can take care of myself.’ And both of those are things the citizens should want from their police chief.”

Cal took a mug from the cabinet and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Someone’s feeling a bit touchy this morning.”

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