Page 34 of Break My Fall

“Then why are you upset?”

“Given that you’ve known me my entire life, I’m not sure why me having a crying jag is big news. I’m allowed to cry when I’m upset.”

“You are, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Mo never liked it when she cried. Bless him. “I’m sorry you got stuck with a big-emotion sister.”

“I’m not. I love you exactly the way you are. I just don’t like it when you’re upset. And to be clear, I’m not sorry that you got stuck with an overprotective big brother. Two of them if you count Cal, which I know you do. Big-emotion baby sisters who wear their hearts on their sleeves need big brothers to go to bat for them.”

“I love you too.”

“I know. Now, what did Gray do?”

“I already told you. Nothing.”

“And that’s the problem?” When she didn’t answer, he muttered, “Oh boy. Okay. Come home. I’ll start a fire.”

“Okay.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.”

She slipped out of her office and went straight to her car. She only cried a little on her way home. And when Mo met her by the fire with arms open wide, she stepped into his embrace and let him hold her until the tears again stopped.

“Why am I not good enough?” She whispered the question into his chest.

“Did he say that to you?”

“No.”

Mo waited. He was annoyingly good at waiting.

“I’ve all but painted a sign that says, ‘I have feelings for you,’ but he’s not interested. Why? I’m not ugly. I’m smart. I have a job. I’m not a criminal. I mean, on paper, I’m a catch. But in real life? Not so much. No one has ever wanted to catch me, at least not anyone I want to be caught by.”

Mo rested his chin on her head. “I don’t have an answer other than that it isn’t that you aren’t good enough. I know for sure that is not it.” He squeezed her closer. “Maybe it’s us. Some kind of family curse that skipped a few generations and landed on us and now we’re destined to love people who don’t love us back.”

They stood by the fire until her left arm got too hot. She spun them around so her right side was to the fire, but didn’t break the embrace.

When Meredith spoke next, she chose her words very carefully. “I don’t know how to do this. Be his friend but nothing more. I need some space.”

“I’ll tell Cal. We’ll get you some distance.”

“I don’t want Gray to know. It’s embarrassing enough as it is.”

“I’m not convinced he knows to begin with. But if he does, he should be honored that you’d notice him, much less want to know him ... better.”

“Trying not to think about how I’d like to know him?” she teased, and he pulled back from her.

He made a face that looked like he’d sipped pickle juice straight from a jar. “I never think about that. You’re my baby sister. The thought of you ... no. I don’t think about it.” He tapped her nose. “At the same time, I want that for you. A man to love you the way you deserve to be loved. And a man who can be the safest place you’ve ever known.”

Meredith had nothing to say to that.

“Gray could have been that man. But if he can’t move past the things holding him back from you, then there’s someone else.”

“There might not be.” Meredith voiced the thing she’d been thinking of lately. “Maybe I’m going to be the coolest aunt, best cousin, and sweetest friend, but not a wife and not a mother. I feel like if that’s what God wants for me, I should be okay with that.”

Mo chuckled. “Maybe God wants us to be like Matthew and Marilla.” He winked at her, and she remembered her long-ago promise to never, ever tell anyone how much her big brother adoredAnne of Green Gables.

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