Page 59 of Justice Denied

Seth stayed where he was, his body dejected and his face toward the floor. When he spoke, he didn’t meet her eyes. “Do you want me to leave too?”

If she said yes, he would slip out after Melender and wouldn’t bother her again unless she reached out to him first. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. He lifted his head, his eyes fastening on hers. The sorrow etched on his face broke her heart, but she couldn’t find the strength to retract her harsh assessment of him.

She still hadn’t answered his question, but he nodded once as if she’d spoken and left. When the front door closed with an audible click, the flood gates on her tears released. Sobs tore through her body as she cried. Her words replayed over and over in her mind as did the look of utter misery on Seth’s face. As her tears eased, one thought pushed its way to the surface. Seth hadn’t seemed surprised by her conclusions. He seemed more resigned, as if it was what he’d expected. That reaction told her volumes about his upbringing, a background he had shared in confidence with her hours before only to have her use it against him. Maybe Kyle hadn’t been the entire issue after all. Perhaps she had been more to blame than she wanted to think.

ChapterTwenty-Two

Seth didn’t want to go into his house where he might encounter one of his roommates since both of their vehicles were parked outside. Instead, he shoved his hands into his pockets and headed down the sidewalk. Jetta’s words had been like the cliché dagger to the heart, piercing him with an almost physical pain. Other voices joined Jetta’s in his mind, calling him names or making fun of his large size. A tear trailed down his cheek, and he let the light wind dry it rather than wipe it away.

He’d known she had a world of hurt behind her pregnancy. His childhood in and out of foster homes had developed his ability to spot the pain behind the masks people wore. But since their kiss, he had let himself begin to hope this time that the relationship would develop into a forever one, rather than the temporary unions he’d become accustomed to. He pulled out his phone and sent his therapist’s assistant a text to see about any openings. He hadn’t spoken to Dr. Finnegan in almost a year, but his confidence had taken a direct hit with Jetta’s harsh opinion of him.

As his stride put more distance between him and Jetta, he couldn’t help but consider the situation from her perspective, something he’d always defaulted to. Dr. Finnegan had helped him see that while empathy and the ability to consider the other person’s point of view were admirable traits, they could also push Seth into dangerous territory by not holding others accountable for their actions or offering excuses for their behavior.

He attempted to look at the current situation with a clear eye. It was true they hadn’t known each other long, so on the one hand, her concern was warranted. However, Seth had developed a years-long relationship with her mother, so that should have given Jetta some reassurance as to his intentions.

Seth turned a corner, passing a group of kids chasing each other, their happy squeals and mock screams tugging at his heart. He had let himself dream of raising Jetta’s child as his own, and, maybe one day, adding a couple of more kids to the mix. For all her bravery on the outside, Jetta had been deeply hurt by someone who had gotten her pregnant, then abandoned her. The urge to pray for her made him pause, close his eyes, and pour out his heart to the one who understood all his pain and Jetta’s. After his silent amen, he continued, thanking God for Dr. Finnegan’s wise counsel in helping him wrestle through his childhood hurts and his teenage angst.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been walking and giving his feelings for Jetta and the situation to God when a familiar bark brought him up short. Jetta and Bingley stood a few feet in front of him on the sidewalk.

Bingley, straining at the leash held tightly in Jetta’s hand, wagged his tail in welcome, but Seth couldn’t distinguish Jetta’s features in the twilight.

“I’m sorry.” Jetta’s voice sounded rough, as if she’d been crying a lot. “I’m sorry for saying I thought you might be abusive.”

Seth sensed she had more to say, so he came closer to let Bingley lick his hand.

“I said some terrible things about you. I…” Her voice cracked. She breathed in and out slowly before continuing. “I have no excuse for my actions other than I’m scared. Scared for my mom. Terrified about what I’m going to do once the baby comes. Worried I’ll make another mistake and mess up her life.”

“Jetta.” The pain in her tone made him want to draw her into his arms.

She held up her hand. “Please, let me finish. You’ve been the perfect gentleman in all of our interactions. You’ve never asked about the baby’s father, but you deserve to know why I’m such an emotional mess.”

“You don’t have to tell me.” But oh, how he hoped she would.

“Yes, I do.” She held out the leash to him. “I think I can get the words out better if we walk and talk. Would you mind?”

“Not at all.” He accepted the leash, tugging Bingley to get him moving again. Jetta fell into step beside him, her arm brushing against his. Every fiber of his being wanted to take her hand in his but he would keep his distance so she could tell her story. While she had apologized, it didn’t mean she was ready to welcome him into her life.

They walked nearly an entire block before she spoke. “He never hit me.” Her quiet words eased some of the worry Seth hadn’t realized he’d been carrying. “But he tried to control me in other ways.”

When she let the silence build, he filled in the blanks of a story he’d seen play out more often than he liked to remember with some of his mother’s men. “By belittling you and isolating you from your friends and family.”

Surprise widened her eyes. “How did you know that?”

He drew Bingley to a halt to face Jetta. “My therapist helped me see that’s what some of my mom’s men did, even when I couldn’t articulate why their behavior bothered me so much.”

Jetta appeared to mull that over, then she continued walking. “I met Kyle at the mega church I was attending in Chicago. While the pastor did preach the Gospel, what attracted me was the way I was able to slip in and out without many people noticing me. It was easy to think I was doing the right thing without the accountability. In hindsight, that’s why Kyle liked the church too.”

No wonder Jetta had thought Kyle was a safe bet, meeting him in a house of worship.

“At first, I was flattered by his attention. He was older, in his late-thirties, and seemed so sophisticated. Unlike men my age, he had more money, and he liked to spend it on theater tickets, high-end restaurants, and box seats at sport events. Dating him was like nothing I had ever experienced, and for a while, he treated me like a queen.”

Seth braced himself as she shared more details as Kyle niceness wore off, telling himself she had gotten away from the man who had hurt her so deeply in Chicago.

“He was so good at making me believe his demands were reasonable that I didn’t realize what was happening until one of my sisters visited me.”

Jetta paused the story as if lost in the past. He prompted her with a question. “Which sister?”

“Jenna, the oldest one. Kyle was supposed to go to dinner with us, but he backed out at the last minute because a friend had gotten courtside seats at a Chicago Bulls game. I wasn’t about to ditch Jenna and accompany Kyle, who blew up for disobeying his command.” She huffed a laugh. “He didn’t use those words. That’s how I saw it later, when the scales had fallen from my eyes.”

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