Page 40 of Contractually Wed

God, she couldn’t bear the weight of loving Apollo without him loving her back. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life locked in a marriage with a man who would always see her last name first, or her brains and now the fact that she was his child’s mother.

Would he ever want her for herself, even as he built castles for their now very real family? Would he love her as she longed to be loved, as she loved him?

And if she stayed, she would be trapped and miserable, unable and unwilling to give him up. But could she leave him and raise this baby alone? Would he even let her? Or would she be ruining a bright present in search of a future that didn’t exist?

“Enough, Jia,” Apollo was whispering into her temple, his hands moving over her back in a frenzy, a rough bite to his words. “You will make yourself sick and I will not allow it. Enough,agapi mou. Whatever it is, I will fix it.”

The scent of him filled her lungs and instantly her body calmed, as if it knew him better than her mind did. Even better than her heart.

Jia clung to him, took solace in his words, even though she knew it was only temporary. “I’m scared, Apollo. I...”

“Of what, Jia?”

She buried her face in his neck—her safe space. Here, she could feel his steady pulse and breathe in the pine and clove scent, and know that with those arms around her, she wouldn’t be lost.

His hands moved over her, kneading and pressing, gathering her so tight to him that she felt like she might break apart. His mouth was at her temple, warm and soft. “Shh... Tornado. You’re with me and I won’t let you go.”

And when he lifted her in his arms, and walked through the house that he’d built and carried her to the roof in front of all the staring guests as if she were precious, as if nothing else mattered, Jia wondered if she could be brave enough to do the one thing she’d never done in her entire life.

For Apollo, could she hope? For this baby and the life they might build together, could she trust in herself that she was worthy of his love? Could she stay and love him as she wanted to?

Apollo watched Jia as she half-heartedly riffled through the design folders he’d brought in from the firm, at her request. From playing video games with Camilla’s sons to cooking with his mother, to her work, everything she did these days was with half a heart, her mind a million miles away.

Something was wrong, ever since that day two weeks ago when they’d been visiting a client’s home in Andros Island. He had never seen such panic in Jia’s eyes and even now, if he closed his eyes, her expression haunted him.

To this day, she wouldn’t tell him what had made her cry as if her heart was breaking.

Oh, she pretended that everything was good, but he caught that haunted look in her eyes when she thought he wasn’t watching or when she forgot to keep her armor up. He also didn’t miss how her moods fluctuated from happiness to sudden sadness, like a shroud dimming her spirit.

The only place where he had her completely, where he knew only his touch ruled her, was in bed. She was as desperate to be touched and held and consumed as she’d been before and if it wasn’t for that intimacy that tethered her to him, he might have lost his mind by now.

He was getting there slowly though, seeing the constant shadow in her eyes, wondering what he could do to fix it, wondering how he could get the old Jia back.

He’d even hounded Rina about the cause, wondering if her family was at the root of her problems, as always. Rina had not only come up empty, but finally showed a little backbone by asking him if he’d considered that he could be the source of Jia’s pain.

Jia married you because she had no choice, Rina had pointed out, with sudden acidity, and the doubt had been planted.

Jia was unhappy with him, with their relationship, and he had no idea how to fix it, for all he’d promised her he would. Asking her had got him nothing but evasion.

I’ve given you everything, Apollo. There’s nothing left, had been Jia’s sarcastic taunt when he’d probed. And then, like a child seeking approval from an adult they’d alienated, she had clung to him that night.

“You’re worried about her.”

Apollo turned to find his mother next to him, holding up a cup of dark coffee in one hand. Just the scent of it told him she’d prepared it the exact way he liked it. The realization arrested his childish impulse to snub her offer.

He hadn’t even been aware of her presence in the kitchen, so caught up he was in watching Jia. For once, all his sisters and their broods were busy elsewhere and the house was eerily quiet.

With nothing else to do, he took the coffee mug and turned away.

“Will you not talk to me, Apollo?” Mama said, her words heartbreakingly soft.

He shrugged, a sudden patina of grief and anger clinging to his throat. For so long, they had been at odds with each other. She had been critical of everything he had done, and he hadn’t cared enough to mend the direction of his life. And now, when he’d achieved everything he’d set out to own, when the world was at his feet, this rift with his mother was still an open wound.

Was it too late to mend it? Did he even want to?

The moment the resentful thought came, he found the answer. Of course he wanted to build a bridge to his mother again. But he didn’t know how. Just as he didn’t know how to help Jia.

“I’m still your mother, Apollo, even if you have conquered the entire world,” she said, rebuking him with the same thoughts.

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