“Which would be horrible. You’ve got to be you.”
He nodded again. He looked tired, a little guarded, a little hopeful.
“I’m sorry I hung up,” she said. “My thoughts were stuck on this loop—‘I have to end this now, right now, before we care even more, before losing him hurts even worse.’ Those thoughts were looping over and over when I called you.”
“It’s okay. I got stuck on a loop too.”
“What was yours?”
Her beautiful, impressive vampire looked like a little boy when he ducked his head and turned away from the phone. He had waited for Leslie to be ready to talk; now she waited for him. After a long moment he faced her, and his face was all crinkled with whatever he was about to say. “You, uh, you know that test question I left blank? ‘I’m the sum of my accomplishments.’That’s pretty much always my loop. So I went back to work and tried to…to be worth something.”
“Oh, Ryker. I’m so sorry.”
“Not your fault. Really, Leslie, it’s not. It’s just me. My head’s messy sometimes.”
“How’s your head now?”
“A lot better. Clearer. What about yours?”
“So much better too.”
“So what do you think of my plan?” A tiny smile lifted one corner of his mouth and warmed his eyes. She wished she could hug him.
“Your plan is perfect. I just never thought… I never thought we could have everything.”
“Not literally everything.”
“To me it feels like everything, Ryker. I really mean that.”
He was quiet, thoughtful for a minute. They sat together across the miles, and the quiet wasn’t awkward or lonely. It was simple and content.
Then without a segue, Ryker said, “You’re wise.”
Leslie chuckled. He was sweet, but… “Hardly.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t minimize yourself. You’ve got real wisdom, Leslie.”
No one had ever told her that. Of all the times to tell her, now after she’d hung up the phone and cost him a self-doubt spiral… But she found herself smiling. He meant it.
“I don’t know what to do with that,” she said. “But thank you.”
“I hate that we’re six hundred miles apart right now.”
“Me too. But I’ll see you in less than a week, and I’ll see your city too.” She focused past him to his surroundings; he was in his study, sitting at his desk, the place he spent so much time on numbers and data and puzzle-solving. And justice. “Are you still working? Would you consider giving yourself a break?”
“When I hang up with you, I’m heading to a blood bar with friends who all ordered me to call you and make this right.”
“You’re not the one who messed it up. Sorry for the drama.”
“No. We needed to talk about it, so we could work it out. And I think it made me see some things…some overdue things. Can I make a request, though?”
She shrugged. “Don’t see why not.”
“Unless I turn into a real jerk, please don’t break up with me ever again.”
He said it with a little smirk, and she knew he was okay. “I think I can honor that request.”
They didn’t stay long on the phone. Didn’t need to tonight. They’d said deep things, new things, and anyway Ryker’s friends waited for him. When she hung up, she put her favorite Diana Krall record on the turntable and danced around the house.