Page 74 of To Challenge a Wolf

One of the drawbacks to friendship with a vampire: their extreme aversion to human touch. In five years of knowing him, Vivian had never tried to hug Blaine, and he’d never hugged her. They didn’t bump into each other; Blaine made sure, just as he did with every other human he knew. Too close, her warm skin and odorous body repulsed him.

So when he came to her and took her hand between his, Vivian forgot to breathe for a moment. “Blaine?”

He held her gaze, and in his she saw the depth of his exhaustion and wanted to pull away, send him to bed. She wouldhave, if it could do him any good. But something else showed in his eyes, too: deep, somber worry.

“I’m about to assert my perceived status as a wise old vampire,” he said. “Brace for unsolicited brotherly advice.”

“I’ll take it. Please. I really thought I knew how to show him, but I— Do you know what I did wrong?”

“Vivian Leigh Rossi,” he said, and then he stopped. Waiting.

She sighed. “Yes?”

He spoke with slow enunciation, as if she were concussed and confused. “You. Did. Nothing. Wrong.”

It was the last thing she wanted him to say. It didn’t help her fix things. It didn’t help her get what she wanted. Succeed, carry the day…win the wolf. “You’re not going to tell me what I should’ve done instead?”

“You searched for ten years. You found him and went to him. You were incredibly vulnerable with him. You’re a gift, child, and the wolf didn’t see it, which makes him blind and undeserving, if you want my thoroughly biased opinion.”

Child.He almost never called her that, but when he did, it went to her heart. She didn’t know what she’d do without him in her life, this world-weary vampire of uncertain age. But she couldn’t cry all night, so instead she rolled her eyes. “So much for advice.”

“You’re not going to like it, but here it is: whatever happens from here is on Rhett. It’s his turn to do a little work.”

“You’re only saying that as my brother figure who doesn’t like wolves.”

“Nothing to do with his being a wolf. It’s about reciprocity. About deserving to be with someone who’s carried far more than half of the relationship so far.”

“He’s not undeserving, Blaine. Really he’s not. I—I can’t tell you why, but he’s got some deep scars, and they’ve got himbelieving he’s heartless. I think he’s spent the last ten years feeling things without knowing it.”

“Be that as it may, he can’t start a relationship with you until he takes a step toward you—and I don’t mean a make-out session, Viv. He’s got to value you. He’s got to see what he missed.”

“Then there’s no hope. Because Rhett doesn’t miss me.”

“I very much doubt that.”

Did he? Was that cause for hope? She was too tired now to tell. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Blaine squeezed her hand once, which had begun feeling as if it were wrapped in ice packs. Then he let go. Vivian opened her eyes to watch him retreat back to his chair. He settled into it with the same fluid grace as always despite the plastic look of him right now.

“I tried so hard, Blaine.”

“Of course you did. You don’t do things halfway. I’d venture to say you don’t do things easily either.”

She wanted to argue, but she wasn’t even sure what he meant. She tried to think how to cover with sarcasm, but instead all her true feelings spilled out. “I know we’re not fated; Rhett said we’re not. But it’s like the universe didn’t even hear me. I tried to…to see it, you know? To bring it to pass. And it’s worked for me before; I know it’s how I got promoted to manager. But this…”

Blaine gave a quiet hiss of protest.

Vivian sat up straight and met his eyes. “What?”

“You and your attracting and manifesting.”

“Yeah, yeah, you think it’s bogus. But it works. It has to work. If it doesn’t, I’m…I’m really truly sunk.”

“Or you’re free. Vivian, things happen to us. All of us. Some of them are beautiful. Some of them are excruciating. None of them are because we brought them on ourselves with our mindset.”

But she’d been living her life according to this idea for years. She congratulated herself on her successes. She owned her failures.

“Look at me, Vivling. You did not fail to bring this about. Rhett failed to appreciate you. Maybe he did so out of some real woundedness, as you said. Fair enough. But you’re not to blame for that, are you?”

“For failing to push past it, I am.”

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