Page 85 of Candygrams

I shake my head and scoot back away from him like maybe if I can put space between us it won’t be true.

“Yeah, and if I ever catch the fucker, I’m going to beat the shit out of him.”

“I wouldn’t have done that. I wouldn’t have told you about…any of that. I…”

I fling the covers back not caring that I don’t have anything on but his jersey and a thong. I don’t care if he knows what color panties I’m wearing. I nearly fall forward as my feet catch in the covers and end up in his arms.

“Good Lord, Tandy, you nearly fell on your face. And you're fucking naked!”

I brush his hands off me and look around for my leggings. I’m about two seconds from saying to hell with them and leaving like I am. And how the hell am I going to get home when I don’t know which way home is? Fuck it! I’ll find a way.

I reach for the door and am pulled up short. “What the hell…?”

“I’m leaving and you and me are done. No more tutoring. No more anything. Lose my number and pretend that we never met.”

“You are not going outside like that.”

“Fuck off!” I pull my arm, but he doesn’t let me go.

“Let me rephrase that. There is no goddamn way you are leaving my house dressed that way.”

“What are you, my fucking father?”

He yanks me to him. “If you are going to do something so incredibly stupid you bet your ass you can call me Daddy and I’ll be spanking that ass until some sense comes back to you.”

“That’s it! We are…”

“Say it again and I promise, sweetheart, you will be tied to a bed until we finish talking.”

“Get the hell away from me! Stay away from me! And why did you even let me get that drunk in the first place? Why would you stand by and let it happen? You…”

“By the time you had downed the second cup, you were already tipsy. The only thing I could do was take the third and fourth glass away from you and sit with you, so no one bothered you. And no one did. I didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.”

“Oh, so I did do something wrong? Is that what you’re saying, Rip?” God, I feel my eyes start to sting and swallow down the vitriol that wants to leak out. “You know what? You’re right. It is my fault. I should never have trusted you and I should never have gone anywhere with you knowing who you are. And DON’T call me sweetheart!”

“God damn it, Tandy. Will you just take a deep breath and listen to me? I brought you home to take care of you. I wouldn’t let any other mother fucker close to you when I found out you couldn’t really hold your liquor. I would never do anything that would hurt you and you need to stop comparing me to that fucker. I don’t want to take advantage of you. I just want to be your friend and take care of you, you stubborn little thing.”

I take a step back when he starts getting loud too. “Can you take me home, please?”

“Do you want me to help you find your leggings?”

I shake my head no. I don’t care where they wound up. I just want to go home. And by home I mean Bonny’s house. I want to snuggle up next to my little nieces and nephews and immerse myself in what makes sense to me.

“Okay, fine. I’ll find them for you and bring them when we meet at the library again next week.”

I shake my head again. There isn’t going to be any more meetings. No more study sessions. No money for next year. No staying in the same place throughout the summer. Once he leads me down the stairs, I start to pull the jersey over my head but he stops me.

“Keep it on, Tandy. You have no pants on and only a fucking barely-there thong.” Great! He saw. “Leave it on!”

“Fine!”

I’m quiet the entire drive back to the house I rent a room in. Not my home. That’s with Bonny and her husband Grayson. I rush inside so I don’t have to speak to Rip anymore and run right into a stunned Vanessa.

“Tandy! Did you…and Rip…?”

I blow right by her and lock myself in my room. If she wants to know what happened so badly, she can go outside and climb in Rip’s car and let him take her home. Something I’m sure she wouldn’t mind at all. I throw clothes into a bag and change, yanking the jersey over my head, and…stand in the middle of my room. What do I do with it? Throwing it on the floor seems…wrong. But I don’t really want it on my bed or my body. And I do need to give it back to him. Shit!

The damned man has me so twisted up and thrown off my foundation that I don’t know my next move. I'm not sure what to do next. Well, not where he is concerned. I end up tossing it in my bag and telling myself I’ll clean it and hand it back to him when I tell him I will not be tutoring him anymore. Even if the money is good.

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