Page 59 of Savage Brothers MC: Tennessee Chapter

“Maybe I’m warring with what I want and what I should do,” she says, looking up at me under her lashes, her lips pressed together and a shudder moving through her body.She’s got so much emotion and fear churning through her body it’s a wonder she can keep going.I’ve seen women on the edge before and that’s definitely Torrent right now—even if she’s trying to hide it.

“Whyshouldyou do anything, Torrent?Life happens.You’re a free person.Whyshouldyou do anything?”

I watch her throat work as she swallows and my gaze is glued to the way her lips purse as she considers my words.

“Logan… my entire life I’ve kind of done what I wanted.When my dad was in trouble…he asked me two things… to keep my head down and to stay where he put me, so he could make sure I was safe while he got to the bottom of things.Instead of doing that… I went out to meet this man with blue eyes that made my knees weak—even knowing I shouldn’t.”

“Torrent—”

“And when he asked me to stay there and be safe, I tried to leave and… and…”

“Damn it, Angel?—”

“I got my father killed, Logan.If I had done what he asked of me, he never would have walked in there and laid his life down like he did.It’s all my fault,” she whispers and I hate that the tears begin to fill her eyes, sliding out along her face as her body shakes from the need to sob.“It’s all my fault,” she says again.“I killed my father, Logan.”

“Torrent—”

“I killed him,” she whispers so brokenly it hurts to hear her.In some ways it would be so much better if she would cry again, let the grief overtake her body.She doesn’t.Instead she looks up at me with tears there, but refusing to do anything about them.They slowly fall while her face is filled with misery.“I killed him,” she repeats and I’m left wondering if I can ever help Torrent heal… or worse…

If she will let me help her.

Chapter42

Torrent

He doesn’t understand.Devil means well, but he wasn’t there.He doesn’t have the nightmares or the memories of my father’s last words.He doesn’t comprehend how cold I feel inside.I’m trying to live my life hiding that from everyone.Mostly I’m afraid if I don’t…if everyone can see how frozen I feel inside, it will be like giving the cold life and it will take me over.I feel like I’m bleeding on the inside and it’s a race against the clock until that moment when I drown.

The temptation to tell Devil that is there.It’s strong.

I don’t give in.Telling him will change nothing.There’s nothing I can do to fix any of it.I let myself be weak, ignoring the pain in my chest, and not giving in to the need to fully cry.Instead, I hold onto him until the urge to give him everything passes.I listen to his heart beat against my ear as I lay on his chest.I feel his hand hold me, his fingers combing my hair and I let myself be weak, if only for a little bit.

“You okay, Angel?”he asks softly a bit later.

“Yeah,” I lie.“I need to tell you something,” I whisper, afraid to tell him—afraid not to.

“What’s that?”

“My dad wanted me to let Wolf take care of me, he wanted… he wanted Wolf… for me, and I… I need to try to see if I can give him that, Logan.”

Devil’s hand tightens in my hair and I feel the muscles in his body tighten underneath me too.I close my eyes.

“What do you want, Torrent?”

“I don’t know if that matters anymore.”

“What if it did?Tell me, Angel.If you could choose for you, what would it be?”

“I don’t know…” I whisper and I know my answer disappoints him.I feel his legs shift under me.Before he can move us, I decide to tell him what I want—at least for right now.

“We should get up.You need?—”

“But I do know if I were free right now, I’d really like for you to kiss me,” I tell him, feeling guilty and more than a little foolish.

Devil is completely still, not saying anything for a minute or two.I begin to feel uncomfortable and when I try to move off of him, his fingers tighten into my hips—not letting me.I strain against him, feeling foolish.

“Look at me, Angel,” he urges and I close my eyes before giving in.I stare at him and he doesn’t say anything for a bit.

The look on his face is so intense, I feel flushed just from that alone.He brings his hand to the side of my neck, holding me there so gently it makes me ache.His thumb sweeps across the corner of my mouth and I prepare myself for his goodbye.

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