Page 256 of Savage Brothers MC: Tennessee Chapter

“Terrified.”

“It’s okay to be scared?”he asks pulling away just a little to look at me.I think he probably wants to see if I’m lying.I make a vow to myself to be more careful about the words I use around my boy.He’s like a sponge, soaking everything in and I’m not always careful—especially when under stress.

“Of course it is.What matters most, is that even though you were scared, you still did what you needed to do,” I tell him, only to see his face fall again.

Fuck.What did I do now?

I barely even get time to think that question, when Ryan answers it and when he does, the bottom falls out of my world.I don’t thinkIam ready for this conversation.

“I didn’t.I just had to call him Dad.That’s it.If I had done that it would have all been okay.”

“Ryan—”

“But, I didn’t!And he was going to punish me.I was scared, really scared.You weren’t there and I was scared, Daddy,” he sobs, falling into me yet again.I hold him, his head resting on my arm as I cradle him close.“I was so scared.”

“Let it out, Ryan.Tell me all of it and get it out, son,” I whisper, my own tears joining his.My son is hurting so deeply and there’s nothing I can do to stop the pain.

I wasn’t there.I let him down when he needed me the most.

“He was going to punish me, but Rory wouldn’t let him.When he told her she could take my punishment she said she would… and I let her, Daddy.I let her.”

Fucking hell.

“Ryan—”

“He had me and he was going to hurt… hurt me and Rory, she tried to stop him, she begged and…”

“Bub, son… Don’t?—”

“He let me go and I hid behind her, Dad.I hid.”

He says that like it tortures him, and it probably does.I don’t know what else to do other than hold him.I do…tightly,willing him to feel me through everything as he relives his misery.

“Wolf grabbed me, he pulled me away from her and made me stand there.Rory begged him to let me go to my room, but he wouldn’t.He wanted me to watch her get hurt.And…I wanted to go.I didn’t want to stay Dad.I didn’t want to watch.”

“None of what you just told me makes you weak, son.You are still young.Adults are supposed to take care of you.They’re supposed to protect you.That’s what Rory did,” I tell him, my voice clogged with emotion and tears that I’m shedding right along with Ryan now.I knew it was bad… but fuck… I had no idea.When Crusher told me that Rory lost the baby.When he said King had beaten her… I didn’t allow my mind to dwell on all of the different scenarios in my mind.This is worse than anything I ever imagined, and he hasn’t even told me the whole story yet.

“The monster is supposed to be an adult,” Ryan whispers, as I drag my fingers through his hair, continually trying to calm him.

“Some men are evil, son.It doesn’t matter how old they get.”

“Like the Green Goblin?”

“What?”

“He always tries to kill Spiderman,” Ryan sniffles.If my heart wasn’t breaking, I’d smile.

“Exactly like Green Goblin,” I whisper instead, kissing the top of my son’s head.

“He ripped her dress off Dad,” Ryan says pulling away to look at me.His lips are trembling, and his eyes hazy with memories.

“Ryan don’t?—”

“He pushed her down and he ripped her dress and he started hitting her with a belt.It sounded so loud on her skin.I tried to break free to get to her, but I couldn’t.I was going to try and save her, but I couldn’t get free.I wasn’t strong Dad.”

“You were.Tell me the rest of it.Get it out and then I want you to forget, Ryan.”

“I won’t ever forget,” he says shaking his head back and forth.

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