Page 230 of Savage Brothers MC: Tennessee Chapter

“I don’t want you to leave,” he responds.

“You’ve made that clear.It would be better if I left.Ryan would be safer.”

“I want you both safe.Gorgeous, I know you need time to heal, so I’m not pushing it.I probably don’t even have the right and I know that,” he says.His voice is earnest and there’s a note in it that I haven’t heard before.It makes me turn—almost against my will—and face him.“We’re going to have to talk about your brother and everything that went on,” he says solemnly.

“No, we don’t,” I tell him just as softly.

“We do, baby.I need to know.”

“Why?What possible good could come from it?”

“He took our child from us.I’m going to make him pay,” Diesel answers, his voice deadly.

His words slice through me like a deadly weapon.Once they hit their mark, I don’t know how I remain standing.My eyes dilate, my breath literally freezes in my chest, and my mouth is open.

“Our child?”

My words sound strangled and they are.It feels like I ripped my heart out of my chest and I’m just standing here like an idiot holding it out to him to finish destroying.

“Our child,” he says again.His voice is deep, but there’s nothing in it to make me think he has any idea the devastation he’s causing.He has no idea the wound he just plunged another knife into.

He has no idea that he is destroying me.

He gets up and for the first time I notice he’s leaning on a cane.He wasn’t earlier and if my world wasn’t shattered at the moment, I’d realize it’s because he’s pushed himself too hard in therapy.He walks over to the nightstand, where I sleep and pulls out a paper, handing it to me.I look at the folded, white paper like it was a snake.I’m afraid to open it.I don’t think I want to read it.So, I concentrate on something else—which seems to be a recurring theme with me lately.

“When did you put this here?”

“When you and Ryan were working on his math.I couldn’t find you and Crusher told me that you had taken over Ryan’s homeschooling lessons.”

“I… Well he… he was getting behind and it’s not like I’m doing anything.If you’re going to start with how you don’t want me around your son?—”

“I was a bastard.I may have had reason to act like I did, Rory, but that doesn’t excuse me for being the way I was with you and I’m sorry.”

I don’t know what to say to that.It makes me a bitch, I know.But, how can sorry make it better?It doesn’t change anything and I don’t want to soften towards Diesel.I’ve had enough.I just want…peace.That’s not what is on Diesel’s mind.Even now, even after almost dying he just wants revenge.Me?I want quiet.I want to…heal.I want… peace.I want to wake up every morning and not worry about someone trying to kill me or hurt those I love.I want my life to be normal.

Because I don’t know how to reply to him and he seems to be waiting for me to, I open the paper.It’s a medical report and at first, I don’t understand it.There’s references to all of these medical terms, and since he didn’t explain what the paper was—I’m kind of sailing in the dark.Then, slowly it begins to click.Vas deferens, samples, sperm count….

“My doctor didn’t seal the tubes off correctly, or maybe fate just decided I needed more children.Whatever the reason, Rory.The severed tubes grew back together.I may have had a vasectomy, but at best my body healed itself from it and at worst the doctor was an incompetent quack.The point is, I know the baby you were carrying was mine.”

My hands are shaking so much that the paper is moving so I drop it onto the bed as if it is burning me…and maybe it is.I rush to add what is left of my junk.I don’t have much, but since I’ve been here Dani and Torrent have given me more.I tried to tell them I was fine, but they wouldn’t listen.I throw it all into my worn overnight bag that I found at a secondhand shop and zip it up.

“Rory?”Diesel asks.“Do you understand what I’m saying?I know.I know you weren’t lying to me,” he says, like that just makes it all better.

I turn to walk away and Diesel puts his hand on my arm.I jerk away instantly, because his touch?That does fucking burn.

“You think it makes it all better that you believe me now because a doctor confirmed it, Diesel?”

“Rory—”

“You know what would have made it better?Having the man I loved, the man I got shit from again and again, but overlooked it because he hadreasonsfor being like he was, havingthatman believe me when I told him I was having his child.Not because he had tests that proved I wasn’t a lying whore, but because hebelievedme.I guess I should be glad you at least thought to have the tests done, right?Although, I doubt that would have happened if I hadn’t proved to you that I wasn’t going to harm your son.Still, I guess I should be thankful because now you think I’m okay to have around Ryan.Maybe I am, because I do love Ryan.But guess what, Diesel?You’re not good enough for me,” I growl, my heart feeling like shattered glass.“I loved you despite all evidence that I shouldn’t.I loved you despite how you kept turning hot and cold.I deserve a man who gives that back.I deserve so much better than you.”

I all but run out after that.I said too much and I definitely reacted too strongly, but I’m tired of being strong.I’m just fucking tired.I make it to my room and I see Rebel following me, but I ignore him.Diesel doesn’t follow me, not that I thought he would.Whatever is between us, it’s over now.

Over.

Chapter34

Diesel

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