Page 174 of Savage Brothers MC: Tennessee Chapter

Yet, it seems that even empty words have the power to hurt.I feel tears gathering, and I do my best to suck them back.I don’t want Noah to hear them.I don’t want him to know that he still has the power to hurt me.I get up and slowly go to the shower, turning on the water and making it as hot as I can get it.

There’s part of me that hopes the water manages to burn my skin off and makes me feel clean.It’s not physically possible, at this point in my life, I’m pretty sure I’ll never feel clean.It’s never something I’ll stop wishing for, however.

I let the water wash over me, sinking to the floor and replaying Noah’s words to me.I can’t quote them—not verbatim, but only because I don’t want to.It’s just one word that keeps repeating in my head.

Abortion.

I place my hand on my stomach and just let the tears fall.The great thing about showers is that they help hide the tears.I’m not very far along, but I swear I can feel him or her inside of me… growing… living…surviving.

If it wasn’t for my child, I think I would be weak enough to take Noah back if he apologized.I really think I would.But, he didn’t say he believed me.He didn’t say he was sorry for anything and he didn’t beg me to forgive him for even mentioning that ugly word around me and my unborn child.

Abortion.

I’ve been reading pregnancy books and most truly believe that an unborn child can hear what is going on around them.They believe they hear music and studies show they react to it.Could my child hear its own father suggest an abortion?Even if he or she doesn’t know what that means, just the word alone is… ugly.Maybe, that’s a choice for some women, but it’s not for me.My child is a part of me and I will not give it up.

I move my other hand up and now they both rest on my stomach, I close my eyes and concentrate on the life inside of me.It’s all that is important now.

Nothing else.Not me.Not Ryan.And, to be honest not seeing him hurts almost as much as not being around Noah.Still, nothing else matters—not my brother or Tony.Nothing.

“Mommy loves you peanut.I’ll protect you,” I pledge.“I’ll love you,” whispers, tears clogging my throat once again.

“I’ll love you enough for a mommy and a daddy.”

Slowly I get up on my feet, turn off the water and grab a towel.I dry off before I go back to the bed.I climb in, giving my back to the wall.

Nothing else matters.

Chapter42

Rory

I winceas I hear the pounding on the door.I’ve been sitting in my bedroom in the dark almost all day.Crying all night gave me a migraine.I got up early to go into work, but I couldn’t kick the headache.Then, I went outside and Ryan and Noah were getting into their truck.Ryan waved at me and I was a total bitch, but I couldn’t bring myself to wave back at him.I didn’t want Noah to use it as an excuse to rip me open again.I’m barely hanging on here as it is.If he started on me in front of Ryan…I don’t think I could handle it.

So, I pretended I didn’t see Ryan and I turned the other way.Guilt has been eating me alive all day.Ryan’s not to blame for the mess between Noah and I.He’s innocent.I shouldn’t have allowed it to affect how I interact with Ryan.I may have been—maybe still am—in love with Noah, but I love Ryan too.I’ll have to seek him out and apologize… If I can work around Noah…

I jerk, my stomach revolting as I do, when the pounding starts again.I look at the clock and notice it’s about an hour before time for Noah to go get Ryan.It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out it’s him knocking on my front door.No one else ever comes by.I swallow, not really wanting to deal with this right now, but not exactly having a choice—because again, Noah’s not giving me one.I’m so tired of him deciding everything and just telling me how it’s going to be.

I walk to the door slowly, cursing my nausea as I do.It would serve Noah right if I throw up all over his shoes.

“I think we’ve said all there is to say to each other,” I growl opening the door.

“I think, we have a world of things to say to each other, Little Sister.”

My blood turns instantly cold.I stupidly thought I was safe here.Looking up at the evil in front of me… I know better now.

“King…” I whisper.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”he asks.My eyes travel over him.He hasn’t changed.If anything, he looks colder.I bite down my fear though, my brother can smell fear at the first scent of it…he attacks.

“Do I have any choice?”I ask him, silently congratulating myself when I manage to keep the fear out of my voice.

“None whatsoever,” he says and I back away from the door, making room for his entourage and him.My living room, which I once thought was huge, feels so small I can’t catch my breath.

I sit down in a chair by the door.I don’t really want to sit, but remaining standing is not an option.My legs feel like jelly and my knees are threatening to buckle.Sitting keeps me from looking weaker in front of King.

Timothy King has worked hard to make my life miserable.Until I finally broke free from his grasp, it was his favorite pastime.When he took over the family business, he had everyone call him King.In his head, he thought being called King made him sound invincible.I thought it just made him sound like a giant douchebag.

Whatever.

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