Why did he feelgood?
The only thing that made any sense of it was what his therapist had been fond of repeating. About grief not having a smooth trajectory. That there’d be ups and downs and backward slips, and Ari clung to the thought that this was some weird kind ofup. That wouldn’t last.
Some kind of aberration before he slid back into the familiar folds of darkness. Thathadto be it.
‘Is Ari your proper name?’
The enquiry yanked him out of his psychoanalysis like a tug to his hair. Her enquiry was soft and low, not accusatory or suspicious, but Ari was already tense enough without Kelsey digging into his background.
‘I mean, is it just Ari, or is it short for something?’
Relief, cool and fresh, flowed through Ari’s body – the enquiry had been innocent. Still… he’d just had sex with a woman whilst pretending to be someone else. Sex with a woman who wasn’t Talia.
Guilt layered on top of guilt.
‘It’s short for Aristotle.’
‘So, no pressure then,’ she said and laughed.
Despite his inner turmoil, Ari laughed too. What was it about Kelsey that put him so damn at ease? ‘I don’t think my parents thought I’d follow in the great philosopher’s footsteps or anything. It’s just a common Greek name.’
‘You sound very English for a Greek guy. Were you born there?’
‘No. I was born in Athens.’ Being dragged out of his head into normal, everyday conversation was helping with the tight knots of tension in Ari’s muscles. It felt good to be able to tell some truths right now. And Theo always insisted the best way to execute a lie was to stick to the truth as much as possible. ‘But I lived in the UK for a long time.’
‘Oh? Whereabouts?’
‘London.’
Ari waited for the familiar stab of pain, the feeling of loss that came every time he thought about his decade in London. But it didn’t. There was just an odd kind of ache that felt like something akin to nostalgia.
And that was terrifying too. The stab was always wrenching but it was familiar. The kind of pain that kept his love and his memories alive.
The knots tightened again.
‘London is amazing,’ she said, her voice rich with affection. ‘Did you work there?’
‘Yes. For ten years.’
She rolled up onto her elbow and looked down at him, her hair falling around her face and brushing her shoulders, her cupid’s bow pursing a little. She was so lovely Ari’s heart skipped a beat. ‘And what do you do, Aristotle George?’
‘I’m an accountant.’
That was the truth. Hewasan accountant. He just happened to be thechiefaccountant of a billion-dollar business.
‘Really?’ She raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. ‘And here I thought all accountants were boring guys with glasses who were wizards with numbers and tax law, not’ – she stroked her index finger along his bottom lip – ‘making women come.’
For a moment, Ari let her compliment go to his head. He’d forgotten how good it felt to be flattered by a woman. ‘You should never judge a book by its cover.’
‘Oh, trust me. I’m never going to look at another accountant the sameeveragain.’
The thought of Kelsey looking at other accountants, looking at other men for that matter, was disconcerting. Which was confusing as fuck.Why should he care who she looked at?
‘Happy to be addressing stereotypes,’ he said, to cover his confusion.
She laughed and Ari’s lungs felt too big for his chest as she laid her head on his shoulder again and went back to swirling patterns against his skin.
Her fingers stopped after a minute and he started to wonder if she was asleep. A trickle of adrenaline kicked in, stirring uneasily through his gut. This was all too much. Too fast. He hadn’tsleptwith a woman since Talia, and that would be plain… weird, right?