Page 47 of Breaking the Ice

He was only joking but Samantha thought about it for a beat or two longer than she should have, wondering what Nick would say if she called his bluff. If she saidmy place, seven-thirty.

But she didn’t have the nerve to carry it off.

“Thanks, I think I’ll figure it out.” She didn’t bother to temper the sarcasm in her voice.

He grinned. “They can be much more fun with two.”

Samantha frowned. “Why would you use a vibrator if you had the real thing?”

Rolling his eyes, Nick gave a half laugh. “Variety. Spice. You know… fun. Sex is supposed to be fun.”

“Oh,gee, that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years.” The sarcasm literally dripped from her words now. “I do know how to have fun, Nick. Just because I don’t see fireworks every time I’m in bed with a guy doesn’t mean I don’t know how to enjoy myself.”

He quirked an eyebrow, unperturbed. “Really?”

She glared at him, not bothering to answer. Great… Nick thought she was boring and didn’t know how to have fun. So much for metamorphosis.

“Okay then, prove it. I want afullreport on the Orgmaster in the morning. Its good points. Its bad points. And a rating.”

Ugh.For the love of… “I’m not a dude, Nick. I don’t rate my dates. Mechanical or otherwise.”

“Yeah well, maybe you should. If you don’t mind me saying, you must have had some real doozeys. A rating out of ten. Are you up for it?”

Samantha couldn’t believe she was having this conversation. “This is ridiculous.”

“No. What would be ridiculous is if you just spent two hundred bucks and didn’t get your money’s worth. See, I have this really strong feeling you’re going to shove your new toy at the back of a drawer and let it collect dust instead of using it.”

Samantha had been thinking the back of the bathroom cupboard but there was no way in hell she was admitting to that. “Of course I’m going to use it.”

“Tonight. I dare you.”

She looked him straight in the eye. “Tonight.”

But first she was going to need to stop at the liquor store for a bottle of vodka. She was going to need to be really smashed before the Orgmaster could come out to play.

16

Bridget Jones chose vodka and Shaka Khan. Samantha Evans chose vodka and Oreos. Definitely a higher carb content than Bridget’s choice but at least the cookies would help soak up some of the alcohol.

Samantha dumped her shopping bags on the kitchen bench and poured her first shot. If she was going to do this thing, she’d better get started. The fiery liquid hit the back of her throat and she swallowed it quickly.

Ahhhhhh!Braver already.

Next step was putting herself in a romantic mood. A relaxing bath, complete with candles and slices of cucumber for her eyes helped. As did the two shots she consumed while relaxing in the water. She was definitely feeling mellow as she slipped the cool satiny burgundy of her Victoria’s Secret nightdress over her head and stepped into the matching underwear. Both items had lacy trims and felt slinky against her skin.

She ate another two Oreos in the kitchen before bringing her phone, the vodka bottle, the cookies and the brown paper bag to the coffee table. Sitting on the couch, she pulled the Orgmaster out of the bag and released the beast from its packaging.

Samantha placed it on the coffee table, its flesh-colored girth giving it more than a hint of realism as it rose majestically from the glass top. Out of the packet and under the harsh glare of the overhead light it looked comically potent.

A deadly phallic missile.

Flicking the switch, it buzzed and vibrated, practically walking its way around the coffee table. She laughed, finding it outrageously funny in her vodka-addled brain.

Also slightly scary.

Samantha switched it off. Better not run the battery down. She’d hate to be in the middle of the best time of her life and have it whir to a halt. She laughed again as she reclined against the couch, accidentally knocking her phone off the arm. She barely registered it though, as she stared at the vibrator for a while. It looked like a cactus with its extra protruding bits for maximum stimulation sprouting at odd angles from its base.

Holding up her hand, she could easily count five fingers which meant she was nowhere near drunk enough. Taking another shot, she helped herself to two more Oreos before reclining once more but the angle was all wrong, the vibrator seemingly bigger and bigger.

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