Page 68 of Nocturne

Since we are already on the topic of men, I shift in my seat to face her. A quick glance behind me confirmed that Eero was nowhere in sight.

Good.

I like to keep my dating affairs private. Especially after that disaster in college.

“Sean asked me out on a date.”

Ivy’s head snaps toward me, her eyes wide as saucers. “Dr. Lloyd?”

I nod, and her face instantly splits into a teasing grin. “What did you say?”

“Nothing. I was with Cas, and I didn’t know what to say.”

Her brows knit in confusion. “Don’t you like him?”

“I do. But…” I hesitate, my voice quieter now. “Is it right for me to date? Now that I have Cas? Shouldn’t I be investing all my energy into raising him?”

Ivy reaches out, resting her hand on my knee. Her touch is grounding and steady.

“There’s nothing wrong with looking after yourself, Ara. Having a kid doesn’t mean you stop living your life.”

I bite down on my lower lip, lost in thought. The insecurities I’ve buried deep surfaced again yesterday, and it’s been hard to push them away.

Why would Sean want to date me? Why would he break his own rules for me? I’m sure he has plenty of prospects—women who are prettier and far less complicated.

I’m not anything special. Not to look at. Not to be with.

Ivy’s voice cuts through my spiral of doubt.

“I know that fucker Burke did a number on you. But don’t let it hold you back. From what I’ve seen, Sean seems like a decent guy, and I’m pretty sure he’s not a jerk.”

That’s true.

It’s just a date.

But deep down, I know there’s more to it.

I set my lemonade on the table, turning to watch the lake. The setting sun casts brilliant shades of red and gold on the water’s still surface. Birds fly low across the horizon, heading toward the light.

The words slip out before I can stop them. “That’s not it.”

Ivy doesn’t push. She waits.

So I tell her everything about the other night—about Zagan. About the kiss that wasn’t even on the lips, and how I still let him come closer. About the disgust in his eyes afterwards.

I was sober enough to stop him. But I didn’t.

From the corner of my eye, I see Ivy’s expression shift—anger flashing across her features. But she’s also studying me, gauging my reaction.

She won’t find anything. I’ve mastered the art of keeping my face blank when my insides are in chaos.

When she finally speaks, her voice is calm but firm.

“I don’t know why the fuck he’d kiss you and then act angry about it. I don’t care. What matters is who wants you and is willing to voice it out, Ara.”

I nod slowly. She’s right.

“Besides,” she continues, “these men are trouble. They’re unreadable, fucked in the head, and—most of all—not right for us.”

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