Page 40 of Nocturne

“I won’t lie,” I begin.

She turns, her gaze locking onto mine. There’s an aura about her, something... unusual. I can't quite pinpoint it; perhaps it's the mystery veiled behind those blue-grey eyes.

“I wouldn’t say life suddenly becomes beautiful or easy to bear. Even after nearly a decade, there are days when getting out of bed feels impossible. But we have to push through those moments. Life isn’t always kind—that much I’ve learned. Yet, if we pause and truly look, we can find small miracles, little fragments of beauty that make it all worth it.”

Harley lets out a humourless chuckle.

“Why is it that I have to suffer, but the assholes who raped me get to roam free to prey on other innocent victims?”

I inhale sharply, shaking off the unusual feeling she stirs in me. She’s been through enough; the last thing she needs is my judgment.

“I know. I wish the judiciary systems were hard enough on those monsters.”

“Wouldn’t that be a fair world,” she scoffs.

It is my turn to let out a humourless chuckle. This world is anything but fair.

We stay in comfortable silence for some time before she breaks it.

“I…I tried helping women…”

I say nothing, giving her time to continue.

“Like us. But…but I couldn’t bring myself to see them. Hearing their screams…”

Tears gather in her eyes. We sit close enough for me to gently pat her shoulder. She shakes her head, shame splashing across her face.

“That is understandable, Harley,”

Her eyes meet mine. Does she think not being able to take those screams makes her a bad person? God I hope not.

“I’ve worked in a shelter like that for a year. An environment like that can be…triggering.”

“Why did you leave?”

I let out a sigh. “I lost one of the women who was assigned in my care,”

Harley gasps, her hands flying to her mouth.

“What happened?”

I rub under my eyes, making sure none of the children are looking at us. They are all busy in their worlds, laughing and playing like they should.

“Her demons caught up to her.” I whisper, the pain of losing Rachel still heavy on my heart.

She made us believe she was getting better, even planning for a job after her discharge. I let my guard down, thinking I was helping, only for her to leave us. Her loss left a scar that still burns.

I sniff, wiping my eyes discreetly so that Cas wouldn’t notice. The kid is a lot more perceptive than any kid his age should be.

“Who found her?”

“I did,”

I look down when Harley’s hand pats mine.

“I couldn’t go on after that. I couldn’t keep pretending I was better than them or that their screams and pain didn’t affect me. So, I quit.”

We stay like that for a few minutes.

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