Page 131 of Nocturne

I wished and cried to never see the day when I’ll have to run. Again. This time with a kid. I’ve known the consequences when I’ve adopted Cas. I knew if Vir ever found me, I’d be forced to make a choice. A difficult one. Leave him here so that he wouldn’t have to go through the catastrophic storm that would brew in my life or take him with me.

Leaving him here was the choice I thought I’d make at that time. But looking at his sleeping form, his hands clutching onto mine, I can't do that. I’m taking him with me. I’m running with him. It’s okay. I have multiple plans set in motion already. Div will have the passports and necessary documents required for us to travel to a new country. This time, to a place whose existence is often ignored. I won’t mind the negative temperatures if it gets me to escape the demon.

“Is there no other way?”

I keep my gaze fixed on Cas's sleeping form, refusing to look at Ivy. She already knows everything that unfolded today. It was only a few hours ago, yet it feels like a lifetime has passed sincethen. Every second counts. Every minute, every hour, pushes us closer to the time when he will get to us. There is a reason he hasn’t pounced yet. I don’t care what it is; I’m just thankful for the little time it gives me to set things into motion.

“I wish there was,” I answer, my voice tight, trying to push back the tears.

"You don't have to do this alone,”

"I’ve never been alone in this, and that’s what terrifies me.”

I hear Ivy’s soft sob before she leaves. I sigh and rub my fingers over Cas’s forehead, pushing back his soft hair. My hands tremble despite my effort to steady them, my chest tightening with every shallow breath. The weight pressing on my ribs feels like it might crush me. He needs to let go of his school, his friends and the city he has known. I’m uprooting his life, like I did Iyra’s. But there isn’t any other way.

Vir must know who Cas is to me. If I leave him behind, there is a very good chance of him harming my kid just to get to me. I cannot let that happen. Even if it means running from place to place, never settling in one, I’m ready to do it. I’m ready to face the hatred in Cas’s eyes for what I’m doing to him. I will die before I let Vir’s tainted hands get to Cas.

Tucking the blanket around him, I turn off the light on his table. The beauty of the glow-in-the-dark stickers and paint does nothing to lift my mood. I check the bolts on the windows and the balcony door, my fingers lingering on the cold metal as I twist and tug to make sure they hold. The curtains swish faintly as I draw them shut, and I pause, straining to listen for any sound out of place. My heart pounds in my ears, drowning out the silence. I keep the door open, wanting to know if there isanything amiss. I won’t want to miss even the littlest of sounds that are out of the ordinary.

I won’t be sleeping today or for a while. It is impossible.

I descend the stairs, spotting Ivy on the floor, leaning back on the couch, her eyes staring at the piece of paper with hatred. Her eyes are red, her skin blotchy, and when she looks at me, I see her torturous expression mirroring mine.

“Are you sure it is him?”

I go to sit by her side, prying the paper from her hands. I nod, my eyes fixed not on the text but on the sigil on the paper. The symbol of that damned cult that has put the fear of the devil inside me. The last time I saw this mark, it wasn’t on paper. It was carved into a woman’s skin, her screams a haunting melody I’ve never forgotten. I can distinctly hear the wails of countless women in the background. The soul-shattering cries while he and his men tortured them, in more than one way, broke them beyond repair.

It stares back at me, mocking and unrelenting—a thin circle enclosing an inverted triangle, its lines sharp enough to cut. At the centre, the hollow circle gapes like an eye, empty yet somehow alive, pulling at my thoughts and dragging me toward a void I don’t want to face.

The jagged cracks radiating outward look as if the world itself is fracturing, and I swear I can almost hear it breaking. The crescents and dots around the edges seem to hum, silent yet deafening, like the echo of whispers that crawl under my skin.

The memories claw at me, bringing with them a rush of fear so intense I can barely breathe. My throat tightens, and my knees feel weak, a cold sweat breaking out along the nape of my neck.My hands clutch the paper, crumpling its edges as if letting go of it might give it power over me. Last time, it was the beginning of everything I’ve tried so hard to forget. Looking at it again feels like stepping back into the nightmare I thought I’d escaped.

“It is him.”

No one knows the existence of his cult. Apart from his followers— who do not step out from the forest that they claimed as theirs. For everyone outside that wretched forest, he is a business mogul. A self-made man who climbed ladders because of his intelligence. The chief advisor for the Throne of Inamai. Not a murderer, a molester and a deranged psycho.

Ivy turns, her eyes gathered with tears that are about to spill. I don’t allow myself to cry. I cannot be anything but strong.

“Have you told Iyra?”

There goes my attempt not to cry. I lean my head back on the couch, trying to reign in the tears.

“Not yet. Once Div is done setting up our identities, I’ll tell her.”

I need to tell her now. So that she can start preparing from her side, unlike me, she cannot simply hand in the resignation letter. She has a business; she has a staff she is accountable for. She needs to transfer the deed to someone else’s name. But I cannot bring myself to pick up the phone. I cannot bring myself to dial her and tell her that, yet again, I’m uprooting her life.

She is happy there. She is blooming into a woman I’ve given up on ever finding after we lost everything. She dreams, she laughs, and she has formed connections over the years. She has made a home for herself. And I’m taking it all away. Again.

Ivy just nods, even though I know she disagrees. That is what I love about her. She understands me more than I deserve to be understood. Tears prick at my eyes, hating myself more than I ever did. All my life, what am I if not for serving as an obstacle in the lives of people I love?

I separated Iyra from her childhood love. I’ve brought trouble onto Ivy’s doorstep. I can run all I want, but she cannot. She has a life here, and she doesn’t have a psycho chasing her to death. But because she was associated with me, there is a heavy chance of him coming to her. She will be pulled into his web, and I can only hope worse doesn’t happen.

Right now, I hate myself more than anyone else. If I could, I would end it all by putting a bullet into my head, but that’s the easy way out. I need to be held responsible for my actions. I have made promises to Ma, to Iyra and even to Cas. As tough as it might get, I need to see through them.

“So this is it?” Ivy leans on my shoulder.

I don’t bother wiping my tears as I hug her back tightly. Her arms wrap around my waist, her grip almost desperate. I feel her body trembling against mine, and the weight of our shared fear settles heavily in the room like a storm cloud pressing us down.

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