“Zagan.”
The name spills from my lips in a broken whisper, trembling and desperate. I don’t think. I just act. All the fear, all the raw terror that had consumed me, collapses in an instant, replaced by an overwhelming need for him, for the familiarity and the protection that only he can offer. I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline or the sheer relief that floods me, but I don’t hesitate.
I throw myself into him, my hands clutching at his shirt, desperate for the physical connection. His chest is solid beneath my cheek, his arms surrounding me, and I feel something in me crack wide open as I finally let myself breathe. I finally let myself shiver, let my legs give up, somehow knowing that he would catch me.
He does. He holds me impossibly tight, not saying anything, letting me cry it out. I am here. And he is here. And somehow, that is enough to make everything else seem distant for now.
The night air feels thick and suffocating around me, a cold chill crawling beneath my skin, but Zagan’s presence is a fortress, strong and unyielding, as he holds me close. His grip is solid, as if he can feel the trembling of my bones, the terror that claws its way out of me. My breath is still uneven, my heart hammering in my chest, but his voice, low and steady, anchors me.
“You’re safe,” he whispers. “No one will hurt you.” He promises, his voice ringing in fervour.
His words should comfort me, but instead, they churn the storm inside me. I nod against his chest, the paper in my hand crumpling tighter. I can’t show him. He wouldn’t understand.
My mind races with frantic thoughts, piecing together the fragments of the horror of the message Vir has left for me. I can almost hear his voice dripping with malice as he whispers“Tick-Tock”into my ears. The feeling of his eyes on me even from afar. It all settles like poison in my veins.
I have been found. And there’s nothing I can do to escape him.
Zagan’s voice cuts through the fog of my thoughts.
“Go check it out,” he orders someone behind him, his tone sharp.
I don’t turn to see who it is, but I hear the brisk steps of someone moving swiftly behind me. I can only focus on Zagan’s unwavering grip around my waist, his hands firm and grounding, as though he’s trying to hold my very soul together.
He holds me there, not saying anything, not asking anything for a long time. Long enough for the person to go into the forest and return.
“There’s a body inside the woods. Looks like an animal attack.” Nico reports, his voice cold and professional.
I don’t correct him. The words hang in the air like a sickly lie. It’s not an animal. But there’s no point in saying anything. I won’t risk showing Zagan the paper. He cannot help me. No one can. And why would he care? I don’t mean anything to him to risk everything. That is what would be at stake if anyone goes against Vir.
I cannot delude myself into thinking any of this comfort means anything deeper. For unfathomable reasons, Zagan is physically attracted to me. That is all. He holds no feelings; he cannot be capable of it.
I hear footsteps again, the soft shuffle of more people approaching, and then Cas’s voice—his sweet, innocent voice—calling my name. I turn sharply, my heart almost stopping when I see him. Cas is safe and sound, clutching Yuri’s hand. I let out a breath I didn’t realise I was holding. Relief floods me in a tidal wave, and I rush to him, pulling him into my arms and holding him tight. The world feels slightly less dangerous, just for this moment.
Zagan approaches, his presence towering and imposing, but there’s a softness in his eyes as he looks at me. Without a word, he drapes his coat around my shoulders, the fabric heavy with his scent, shielding me from the night air, and from the fear gnawing at me. His hands hold me again, strong and unwavering, but his voice is insistent.
“Move in with me,” he commands.
His words are sharp and final and leave no room for argument. I cannot even question the absurdity of it right now. I simply have no strength to do so.
I shake my head, but only slightly. “I can’t. Not yet,” I murmur. “I need time to make some arrangements. The deed for the house, Cas’s bus route—“
“Three days. That’s all you get.” Zagan cuts me off, his eyes dark and unwavering.
I meet his gaze, my heart pounding against my ribcage. It isn’t a request. He’s not asking. I can see it in his eyes—he will not accept anything else than a yes.
“Fine,” I lie, my voice barely audible. “Three days.”
I let out a shaky breath, still clutching Cas, still holding onto the last shred of safety Zagan offers me. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me close again, his warmth a stark contrast to the cold, dark world around us. I rest my head on Cas’s head, my mind delving into the numerous plans I’ve already in place.
It’s time to run.
This time, to a place where even his darkest shadows cannot reach.
Thirty-Five
Ara
I’ve never been naive enough to think the reprieve I’ve been offered would last. The peaceful life I’ve had so far was a mirage that would eventually break. The hope that took root in my heart has withered before it could grow. I’ve been prepared for this day. Even as I prayed that it shouldn’t ever come, I prepared for it.