Page 111 of Nocturne

I try not to think about the point Harley made before she left with her jacket.

“Remember. Only monsters can keep other monsters at bay,”

It had been completely out of the blue, but I understood her intention. She might not let it show, but the woman understands far more than I say. I didn’t know whatever this is between entails, but I’ve seen the possessiveness in Zagan this morning. I’d be a fool to think that it is for me. Men like him are territorial, and it comes with who they are.

As ridiculous as this seems, for as long as I’m in this twisted sort of ownership with him, I don’t have to worry about Vir. Not as much as I do every day. Yes, the threat of Zagan hounding me about my past is ever present, but as long as I stay rigid about not letting it out, this should work. He won’t care enough to look past the complicated web lies I’m willing to weave.

I hope so. With the way things seem to go, I have a nagging feeling inside me, warning me something terrible is coming my way.

I’m not bothered about myself. I could care the least if I die. But I don’t want my past mistakes to hurt my loved ones. Not my Cas or Iyra or Ivy. Not my family.

I stand in front of the table, moving half of my butt cheek on the table and look at him.

“Both.”

Why is his voice the same ever since I entered the room? I am sure that if he asks me to talk, nothing apart from a breath or a squeak would make it out of my mouth. I do as told, and myfeet dangle in the air as I make myself a seat on his cold wooden table, still refusing to look at his face.

“Spread your legs,”

This command has my head whipping in his direction, shock written all over my face.

“S…Sorry?”

His eyes spark with a flare of irritation.

“The punishment for making me repeat myself will not be pleasant, Ara. Now be a good little nerd and spread those fucking legs.” He growls his warning.

With my heart inside my throat, I reluctantly spread my legs until he drags his chair to situate between them. I am forced to part them further to accommodate his large frame and his armrests. Warmth coats my cheeks as I curse myself for wearing a skirt today. When those pools of dark blankness snap down between my legs, it is instinctive to bring them closer. But the firm grip of his large fingers over my left ankle stops me from doing so, and I gasp at his sudden touch.

“Lay back,”

“Wh-“

I shut up as he slants those eyes my way, which flash with a dark warning. Everything this man does is dark. And why does that appeal to me so damn much? With a body shudder ripping through me, I slowly lay my back on the thick wood, trying so hard to stop covering myself from his inquisitive eyes. I forgot what panties I had on today. I hope it isn’t one of those grandma panty days, and I put use to the thongs Ivy made me buy.

Who am I kidding? I hated the little pieces of cloth that dug into my arse cheeks, and I preferred my cotton ones more than them. But at least I loved my lacy friends, and looking at the flare of Zagan’s nose, I can only hope that I put on one of them.

What is wrong with you?

This man is asking you to do things that you had never heard of, and all you can think of is what underwear you wore.

Where the hell are your protective instincts?

Right now?

They are busy trying to figure out how to think, with his touch burning my skin and his gaze dampening my core. God, please don’t let it be evident. Please let there not be a wet spot in the smack centre of my panties. I cannot face him if he sees the evidence of what his mere look does to me, not after the way he called me out this morning. Please god-

“Touch yourself”

What?!

I peek at him to see if he is serious. Looking at his hard jaw and hardened fist under his chin, which looks as if he is trying so darn hard to stop himself from doing something, I realise that he, indeed, is serious. And if I don’t want myself to be at the burning end of those angry eyes, I better do as told. But there is one teeny tiny problem.

It’s a good thing that I can hide behind my thighs, seeing as I had never done that. Not completely, at least. I tried doing the deed a few times after reading a raunchy book or the time after the day on the pier. It didn’t feel as great as I’ve read in books orread online that people rave about. According to Ivy, I was doing it wrong.

She tried explaining it to me and, being the nice friend she is, was ready to show it to me too. But I denied it. I wanted a release, not a nightmare, after watching my best friend’s private parts. She was relentless in sending me the self-help videos that went over my head. As a last resort, she bought me an adult toy, which stayed unopened in the back of my closet.

Well, bottom line, I have no effing clue what he was talking about.

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