Page 83 of You Cake My Breath Away

“Do what?” I yell.

“Question the love he had for you.”

When he reaches for me, I smack his hand away. “Why not? Every moment, every gift, everything’s tainted.”

He squeezes his jaw. “Jessie loved you with all his heart, Tilly. There wasn’t a day that went by that he wasn’t telling me about the things he wanted to do for you, the plans he had for a family with you.”

“Stop,” I choke out, pressing my hand against my chest, trying to squash the blooming pain.

“No,” he replies. “You need to hear this.”

He paces the floor, running his hand through his hair with each pass.

“You were everything to him. The sun rose and set in his world around you. He was proud to call you his wife, so thankful you chose himto spend your life with.”

“But I didn’t, did I?” My lips pull back into a sneer. “You guys chose that for me.”

All the fight drains out of him, and for the first time I finally see the truth he’s never wanted to show me.

Chapter forty-one

Archer

Five years Ago- Night of Finals

Tears and squeals of joy echo through the university corridors, the celebration of finals being over and the holiday break breathing new life into the campus. Jessie’s shoes scuff along the linoleum flooring as we walk down the hallway toward the parking lot, a lightness to our step that wasn’t there three hours ago when we stepped into the Chemistry lab for our final.

“Think you passed?” he asks, unlocking his Beemer.

My eyes bounce around behind him, waiting for the moment Tilly finishes and steps out of the building.

“Yeah, totally.” I cross my arms and lean against my truck. “If we failed, Tilly will kill us.”

“I’d rather she kiss me,” he says beneath his breath.

I’ve grown used to the little comments he makes about her, the times he mentions how beautiful she looks or brings her a coffee when we’re in for a long study session. It’s infuriating, but I can’t pretend like I haven’t been doing the same things in hopes she’d notice and maybe want a replay of the karaoke night hallway. We’ve been ships passing in the night with finals happening, but in the back of my mind I wonder if she’s avoiding me because she regrets the kiss. It’s been a week since I felt her soft lips against mine, and I’m not ashamed to say I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything except that moment.

I shove my hand in my jeans pocket, fingers sliding against the smooth surface of my brother’s poker chip. It’s been a constant source of stress and anxiety, and somehow also gives me peace when I have it on me. Sebastian didn’t go anywhere without his lucky chip, and every decision he allowed it to make brought him success. If only some of that would rub off on me.

“Here she comes,” Jessie says.

My attention shifts to the dark-haired beauty dressed in rainbow parachute pants and a cream sweater walking out of the building. Her hair is in a messy bun contained by a lemon scrunchie, and her wide smile strikes me in the chest.

She’s effervescent.

“Where are we celebrating?” She stops in front of our cars with an arched brow.

“Why don’t we go to your parents’ restaurant for a nice dinner?” I suggest.

Her eyes light up. “That’s a perfect idea. I have some desserts to drop off anyway. Let’s meet at six o’clock?”

“Great idea,” Jessie says, but I detect a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“You boys go home and get dressed up,” she says. “At night there’s a dress code, so I want you in your finest for our celebration.”

Like soldiers being sent off by their drill sergeant to clean toilets, we salute her and get into our cars. I roll my window down to ask Jessie if he wants to ride together but he’s already backing out. My eyes follow Tilly as she walks to her Corolla, dancing to music that isn’t playing. I chuckle and shift into reverse, heading off to my apartment.

I shuffle through my clothes and realize my closet is filled with too many flannel shirts and cowboy boots and not enough nice dress clothes. I have the navy suit my father forced me to wear to my sister’s Match Day,and even though that feels too formal, everything else is too relaxed for the restaurant.

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