Page 82 of Ties of Starlight

What had she done now to earn his smiles, to deserve the way he held her when she woke up after having been drowned, stabbed, her neck broken, and worse?

He most certainly was not like Bror. He definitely wasn't like Olaug.

What terrified her most was how little she thought of him recently.

And it made her feel incredibly guilty. Even if she was tied to Nyrunn for this life, Olaug was the one she was tied to for eternity. He was her soulmate. How could her heart be so fickle to start to take the devotion that had always been for Olaug and direct it toward Nyrunn?

And yet there she was, caring more about Nyrunn's smile than Olaug's location.

She was wondering more about if the next night would be the one where Nyrunn would finally lean a little closer and close the distance between their lips than if she would ever even see Olaug again before she died.

What was wrong with her?

On their fourth night of going through her journals, she was dozing lightly in his lap, idly watching as he picked up her current journal and flipped it open. His other hand came to rest on her shoulder as he began reading. Even after several nights of this, it was both nerve-wracking and incredibly calming. She couldn’t decipher what he was thinking as he read the details of her memories and past lives, but she could sense what he was feeling. There was often a mix of anger and a white-hot sickening envy whenhe came across passages that featured Olaug, specifically Idonea’s love for him, but his expression never changed. He never showed it.

When she recounted her memories of her deaths specifically, especially the ones with more gruesome and torturous lead-ups, she could feel his repulsion and compassion. Several nights he reached them and stopped shortly after.

But mostly there was the soft, warm, safe feeling she still hadn’t quite put a name to.

He never said anything though.

Until now.

His hand on her shoulder, the fingers idly tracing circles on her skin, froze. She lifted her head slightly to look up at him.

Before she could ask, he lowered the journal to look her in the eyes and whispered, “You wrote about me?”

Oh. He’d come across the day they first met.

“Did you read the part where I called you insufferable?”

“You wrote about me the first day we met. Which meant you wanted to remember me.”

“I mention you more than once. Never flattering. I always record what’s different or strange. I didn’t expect you.”

Nyrunn’s lips turned up. “No. No, you didn’t.”

“Keep reading if you want, but you won’t like what you find.”

“I think I like the way my name looks in your hand just as much as I like it coming from your lips.”

She pushed at his chest, but not hard enough to actually dislodge herself from her position. Heat flooded her cheeks and his grin only grew bigger as he flipped through more of the pages.

“You didn’t just mention me more than once, love. I’mon most of these pages. You were practically obsessed with me.”

“Annoyed. That’s the word you were looking for. I was annoyed with you. When I wasn’t terrified of you.”

Nyrunn lowered the journal, setting it to the side and leaning over her. “What about now?”

“What do you mean?”

His thumb brushed her cheek. “You know what I’m asking. What do you think about me now?”

“I think…” Idonea didn’t have anything more that she could give him than this. “I think I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

She shook her head. “Not in this life. In the next.”

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