Page 79 of Ties of Starlight

“No. You just… You’re wrong. You have to be. That makes even less sense. It’s not—That’s not possible.” She shook her head, voice picking up speed with each word. “He made sure I knew just how hideous and repulsive my human blood made me.”

Nyrunn closed his eyes for a moment, gathering up the strength to press on. He said, “Because he was cruel, and he would have preferred to actually believe that, so he settled for making you believe so no one would suspect he didn't think otherwise.”

Idonea let out a sharp laugh, and the bond spiked with her pain and disbelief. “I can't imagine how that's possible. It's insane. Most elves could never find me appealing in any physical fashion, much less a member of the royal family.”

Nyrunn shifted closer on the boulder, voice low. “That's not true.”

Idonea reached up at her eyes, which were starting to well up with water. “Please, I know what I am. You don't have to lie to me.”

“I'm not lying. I've never been lying, and I was never mocking you.”

The words came out in a rush, and Nyrunn had no chance of stopping them.

“What?”

It was too late to take it back. Nyrunn took a deep breath and pushed back the swirling storm of emotions trying to rise up again. He was only going to get one shot at explaining this without scaring her away.

He reached out, but paused when his hand hovered over hers. She shifted a little closer, her hand brushing his. He took it, holding her hand gently as he leaned in and held her gaze.

“I'm not my demented uncle. When I thought you were beautiful, I told you. I never imagined you would take what I meant as a compliment as an insult. I would never be intentionally cruel, especially to you.”

He was getting too close, but he couldn’t stop himself. Was she ready to hear it? When would he finally be able to say it without fear it would drive her away?

“I… I didn’t realize…” Idonea looked down. “Part of the problem of living so many different times is thinking I have everything figured out from the start. When we first met, I thought you were just like him.”

I would not have rested until I owned you.

That’s what she wrote Bror had said to her.

Was Nyrunn as different from Bror as he wanted to believe?

He just hadn’t acted on his jealousy. Did that really make him that much better? If Olaug had not run away, would that have remained true? Would he have been able to stomach watching in painful silence as she married him? As she danced with him? As she clung to him?

If Idonea knew the depth and length of his feelings for her, would she see it as Nyrunn’s love or just another parallel of Bror’s obsession?

If she realized the real reason he had let her believe he was Olaug until after the ceremony, would she hate him?

“I don't blame you,” Nyrunn whispered.

“It seems like I don't actually know much at all,” Idonea whispered, tears filling her eyes.

Nyrunn could not stop himself from pulling her into his arms. She buried her head into his shoulder and he could not hold her close enough to satisfy his desperate heart.

“In all the lives I've lived, I have never known anyone quite like you.” Idonea took a long breath, but she didn't pull away, her hand just settled, curling into the fabric of his shirt. “Why would you call me beautiful?”

“Because you are. You always have been.”

“You were a prince.”

“So?”

Idonea didn't reply.

His whole heart was crying out for her to look at him. For her to truly see him. To be happy with him. To let him love her the way not even her so-called soulmate ever had.

Chapter 28

Idonea didn’t say another word. She didn’t have any left in her, not for the rest of the night or the following morning. Nyrunn didn’t say much either. He just held her like he always did that night as they slept and she stared at the faint outline of his face in the darkness.

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