Page 68 of Ties of Starlight

It was bizarre.

Idonea had, in other lives, befriended other women here or there, ones who weren’t as bothered by her human blood as most elves were, but it was rare. After her third life, it started to seem more effort than it was worth. Especially when she’d caught one so-called friend with her hands under Idonea’s husband’s shirt. When Idonea had everything else right, she could concern herself with friendships then. If she even wanted them. If her life was perfect, what use did she have for them?

Idonea, however, couldn’t just say any of that to Lady Asa. The other girl was determined that Idonea helping her in the fight meant they now had to be friends. Or maybe she was just missing Katla now that she’d been kicked out, and Idonea was being brought in to take her place.

So, when Nyrunn wasn’t talking to her about politics and history, Lady Asa was bringing up all manner of subjects. From asking about her time in the library to trying to find out if Idonea had any hobbies, other than history and books, to talking about the court, as if it was her job now to educate Idonea on the complicated inner dynamics of it without overtly letting Idonea know she was being educated.

She suspected Nyrunn might have a hand in it, given how often her conversations with either of them centered on topics that would be extremely relevant the second this was over and Idonea returned as Nyrunn’s queen. All it did was prove Idonea’s point that she wasn’t the best woman for the role and Asa was, but she wasn’t going to have that fight again.

Within a few days, Idonea’s arm was freed from her sling, which meant she no longer had to ask Nyrunn for help with any two-handed tasks. When the healer told her—and him because he accompanied her to see the healerwhenever he could—she beamed at him while he stayed silent, arms crossed, almost pouting if it wouldn’t be completely unbecoming of him to do so.

The first day she had her arm back fully, she couldn’t help but stretch it out and use it constantly even as they rode, earning a dramatic eyeroll from Nyrunn and laughs from Frode and Asa who stuck to them like burrs. Idonea wasn’t sure if they did so because in the event of another attack, they knew Idonea and Nyrunn wouldn’t abandon them, or if it was because they knew the guards would prioritize Nyrunn and Idonea’s safety and they’d be caught up with them.

Now that she no longer needed to fear rolling onto her side—that side at least; her other was still sore and taking longer to heal—Nyrunn no longer had to hold her in place all night, though she also doubted that had really been a necessary measure in the first place. But she didn’t send him back to the ground or the chair. He slept beside her, and the next morning she woke up to his arm draped across her waist and his front against her back as she’d rolled onto her side. With the number of times she’d woken up in his arms only increasing, she just accepted her fate.

Who knew just how… cuddly the king was in sleep?

It was… not what Idonea was used to in her past with Olaug.

He’d always claimed she moved too much and was too hot to the touch to be so close for the whole night. She knew he also meant her nightmares would wake him up if he was too close. She managed to endure them quietly and since he wasn’t holding her, he’d never even known she had them. She’d never begrudged him that, always wanting to ensure he got plenty of rest instead of satisfying her desire to be close to him.

Nyrunn, however, always woke when she did from anightmare. And now that he knew the truth, she could tell him what it actually had been about, and he always held her, whispering that she was safe with him.

Idonea clung to him, the words on the tip of her tongue, but never quite coming out.

But was he safe with her?

Olaug certainly hadn’t been, and he was her soulmate.

In the early mornings, before Nyrunn awoke—or maybe he was awake, just refusing to face the day quite yet—Idonea was struck by the contrast. She couldn’t help it, even though she was certain if Nyrunn knew she was thinking about Olaug he’d get angry with her like he always did when he came up.

She hadn’t read his letter to her again since the night of the Heava Dance, and she was torn on whether she should try to find a moment to pull it out and sneak away to read it again. Maybe she’d missed something the first time.

Where was he? Was he safe? Had the Moon Elves that attacked them come across him first? Would she see him again in this life before the next?

She had no delusions about her current life. However it had come to pass, she was Nyrunn’s wife in this one, and she would be faithful to that even if it wasn’t her choice. She wouldn’t dishonor him in any way. She wouldn’t wish the agony and shame she felt every time she’d come across Olaug’s faithlessness on anyone, especially not someone who had been as patient and good to her as Nyrunn had been.

But she couldn’t deny her heart still ached when he crossed her mind and she was plagued with worry for his life.

“Did you have a nightmare? Or a memory rather? You’re thinking too hard, little lily,” Nyrunn murmured one morning, his sigh brushing her neck as he shifted.

“No. No nightmare.”

“Then what worries keep plaguing you?”

Idonea looked over her shoulder. “All the usual ones.”

Thankfully he didn’t push too hard and she was able to shove aside the guilt before it swelled enough for him to sense it. Every day she debated putting up another wall, but at night, when Nyrunn slid his hand over hers and eased the lingering ache in her side, she decided against it.

Although, a week after the attack, when the healers removed the bandages and said she was in the clear for both wounds, she didn’t know what her excuse was then.

During the day, Idonea tried to focus on Nyrunn, Asa, and Frode, but her thoughts continued to wander to questions she had no way to answer. It did her no good to keep thinking about Olaug, she knew that, but she couldn’t stop. He was written into her bones as she came back time and time again.

Yet, that still hadn’t stopped him from abandoning her.

It hadn’t stopped her from killing him.

That night, they camped by a stream, and Idonea went walking with Lady Asa, hoping to distract herself with her while Nyrunn disappeared, saying he had something to take care of and would find her later. Frode was pulled away by one of the other lords like usual. His job at night had become handling the court’s questions about their route and security and to assuage all the fears that had arisen after the attack so Nyrunn wasn’t pestered with them.

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