Page 57 of Ties of Starlight

When Idonea could see once again, Asa was unfolding a sleeveless nightgown. Idonea let her help her into it, keeping her arm tucked to her chest as ordered by the healer not to disturb the healing muscles in her shoulder. Asa did up the buttons while the maid changed the sheets on the cot. Once the maid was finished, Asa helped Idonea hobble back to the cot. Each step sent a fresh, burning wave through her ribs until she was laid back down.

Asa took Nyrunn’s seat beside her, fussing with the water Nyrunn had brought and a tray of food one of the maids from before had brought in. Asa whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Idonea rolled her eyes. “Me getting stabbed had nothing to do with you.”

“No—I mean, yes, I am sorry for being part of the circumstances, but that’s not what I’m apologizing for. I’m sorry for not speaking up, for not standing up for you when Katla would run her mouth. You don’t have to worry about her anymore; His Majesty had her sent back like he’d threatened to anyone who disrespected you. But that doesn’t make up for it. I’m sorry for my silence. You didn’t deserve any of the things she said about you.”

Idonea stared at Asa, her still wet hair dampening theshoulders of her nightgown. “You’re trying to apologize to me for Katla’s actions?”

“No. For my inaction. And… Idonea, you could have left me there under that horse to die. Frankly, you should have because you are far more important to Adastra. But for some reason you didn’t and I can’t ever repay that debt.”

Thanking a murderer for saving her life? If only Asa knew…

Idonea sighed. “Consider us even.”

“How?” Asa leaned forward. “I’ve certainly never saved your life.”

Idonea huffed, unable to stop her laugh. “Not for that. You don’t need to apologize to me for anything. If anything, I should be apologizing to you, for being married to Nyrunn.”

Asa’s eyes widened. “What? No!”

Idonea raised an eyebrow and Asa ducked her head. If she had any human blood, she probably would have been blushing a vibrant red; instead, it was just a faint pink to her cheeks. “I mean… Did I hope His Majesty might take notice of me? There wasn’t an elf maiden in the castle who didn’t also hope for that. Except for you, I suppose, since you were infatuated with… Anyway, all I mean to say is, it was just a passing fancy. If he really wanted to propose to me, he could have long before he stepped in to marry you.”

Why hadn’t he?

“Still, it would be easy to blame me for taking what was supposed to be your place,” Idonea said.

“This whole thing… it wasn’t your fault,” Asa said. “We all… We all know that, despite what Katla was saying.”

Idonea stayed silent, the weight of her last life trying to suffocate her current one.

Asa opened her mouth again, forcing Idonea to respond before she could say any more.

“It’s very kind of you, Lady Asa, but you don’t have to do that. Nyrunn sending Katla back to Novum doesn’t change what everyone was already thinking.” Idonea looked over at her as she finally finished fiddling with the tray and instead brought it over to Idonea so she could eat.

Idonea ate and Asa sat in the chair, perfect posture, not even a hair out of place after having helped Idonea bathe. As Idonea watched her, she couldn’t shake the certain fact that everyone had known for a long time. The reason why everyone had expected Nyrunn to choose Asa. She was perfect. She would be the perfect queen.

Instead, now they were getting a half-elf whose mind was unravelling at the seams from all the lives she’d lived and the lives she’d ended.

“I’m sure they’ll think differently now that they all saw how much you were willing to sacrifice to save Nyrunn.”

Idonea took another sip of the water, the bread she’d just swallowed turning sour in her stomach. “They shouldn’t. Any one of them would have done the same. He’s the king.”

“I promise you, they wouldn’t have. Don’t tell me that’s what you’re telling yourself too.”

“Telling myself?”

“He’s not just the king. He’s your husband.”

Something deep in Idonea still resisted even though it was true and she couldn’t run from it. He was her husband in this life. That was a different thing entirely.

“Him being king was the only thought going through my mind at that moment. I don’t know what more you want from me.”

“You’re not going to hurt my feelings, Idonea.” Asa smiled, not too small and not too wide. “I told you, I don’t have any for Nyrunn. Thankfully, or else I’d be crushed, especially after all of this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“His feelings for you, obviously!” Asa laughed, gesturing toward her. “You should have seen him as we were racing away from the fight. I heard him when we reached camp. I heard the healers talking about it. He didn’t leave your side. He held you while they worked so you wouldn’t move.”

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