Page 35 of Ties of Starlight

If he were a braver man he would kiss her, or possibly an even more foolish man than he’d already proven himself to be. The answer would depend on her response. She was staring at him with emotions he could not fully comprehend, but her lips were slightly parted, and he definitely recognized awe.

She was stunning.

But if he had the chance to kiss her and not have it end in disaster, it was gone when she ducked her head again, pulling out of his grasp and tucking her hand into her lap. He gently closed his hand around the empty air she’d left behind.

She whispered, “Thank you, Your Majesty. I'm sorry.”

“Whatever are you apologizing for?”

“Just...” She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “Everything. I forget often you've lost far more than me because of this. Stepping in was a real sacrifice. And... you've been kind, far kinder than I expected. I'm sorry this has gotten in the way of what you want as well.”

What did she think he had lost? He'd gained everything; the only problem was what he gained didn't want anything to do with him.

Dare he tell her?

“I'd hardly call being married to you a sacrifice. You—”

“Please, I'd appreciate if you didn't lie to try to protect me. It won’t make any of this any better. Now, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. We should get some rest.”

She wouldn't believe him. Even if he said it, she wouldn't believe him.

So Nyrunn swallowed the words and just turned away,bowing his head and letting her change in privacy. At least he hadn’t made a bigger fool of himself by kissing her.

He caught sight of the journal out of the corner of his eye as he did so.

Would she ever let him in enough to tell him what she was hiding?

Chapter 13

The wrong husband was only one of Idonea's worries, and even though she couldn’t figure out what he was trying to accomplish with all of this, he was the lesser of her concerns. As each second brought her closer to the Ruins of Heava, she was consumed with simply trying to maintain control of her own mind. Her own memories were battering rams, trying to break her down and overwhelm her. She should have known they would only get worse as they got closer. Her most recent life and death were always the freshest, especially around the place where it ended.

The things she'd done in her last life were creeping up on her. She had to make up for it. She didn't want all those memories. She wanted as much distance between her and her past self as possible. Idonea caught brief snippets in her nightmares, and that was more than enough.

What she’d done…

It didn't help there'd been no word of Olaug. Was he dead? If he was, what had she done that could have ruined this cycleso terribly?

She might not have been the one with the dagger this time, but was she not just as responsible as before?

If he was dead, had she killed him a second time?

When they crested a hill and her eyes landed on the ruins on the next hill in the distance, the ruins stretching up into the sky, vivid red flashed before her eyes. Her hands were covered in it. Her own sobs ripped through the air, and then a blade was tearing through—

“Idonea?”

She startled in her saddle, Nyrunn on his steed, concern filling his gaze as he stared at the way her hands were shaking. He sounded so similar to Bror. She tugged on the reins, her horse shying away from him. She lowered her gaze and said, “It's a beautiful sight, Your Majesty, that's all.”

The nephew of her killer. Her husband.

Her deathmark ached.

Nyrunn was a question she had not yet answered. He was not what she'd believed, but she had seen enough to know she could not fully dispel that impression. At least, his cruelty was being dealt out on her behalf. What kind of an elf that made him, she did not know.

What she did know was that she did not trust him. She urged her horse on, brushing her hand over her deathmark, hidden beneath the fabric of her traveling clothes.

He was a liar, that much she was certain of, but his motives for it, she could not determine.

They reached the ruins in the late afternoon, and the camp quickly set off in a flurry of action, even though everything was already set up. Idonea was being rushed off her steed by Lady Asa and several servants and hurried away to bathe and get dressed in the Heava Dance's traditional garb.

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