Page 28 of Ties of Starlight

And yet all of that had only led her to thinking that he was a cruel tyrant and would be an even crueler husband.

She didn’t have a single clue how backwards she had it, believing Nyrunn thought her repulsive and Olaug had thought her beautiful. But if this was how she viewed herself, he most certainly could never let her know what that scum had said about her. Learning the one man she loved and still believed had wanted to marry her thought those very things about her?

It would destroy her.

So all he could say with a soft step back was, “You seem to have it all figured out. I’m not sure what you need to speak to me for then.”

She stared at him and her grip loosened as she shifted her weight. “Maybe I am foolish then, for thinking for just a moment you might care about the fate of someone who was likely kidnapped in order to keep our people weak and growing weaker for another two hundred and fifty years.”

Over a year of jealousy and reining in his temper was not proving to be any good to him now as she frayed every last shred of patience he had when she kept bringing him up.

“You’re right. You are foolish for thinking this conversation would go any other way, given how convinced you are of my poor character.” He tried to take a deep breath to temper himself, but it did him no good as each word came out as sharp and jagged as broken glass. “No matter the circumstances involved in their marriage, even a good, honorable husband would be furious about his wife piningafter someone else. What did you expect a cruel one would do?”

She just stepped back as he approached, shrinking in on herself like she was bracing for the reaction of a truly monstrous man.

Clearly, she did know what to expect, and she’d provoked him anyway. For the slightest fragment of hope for the one she truly loved, she would have taken the abuse.

What was he doing?

Nyrunn had never thought of himself as particularly prone to anger, jealousy, or self-loathing, but that had changed the second Idonea had been engaged to someone else and had only gotten worse with each passing day.

Still, he pushed down his seething anger, which would do him no good in trying to convince her that he wasn’t the villain here. It wouldn’t make her any less afraid of him, and as jealous as he was over an elf who wasn’t even there anymore, he wanted more for his wife not to look at him like he might hurt her.

He stepped back. “Go to bed, Idonea. You might think me a cruel, monstrous creature, but I at least hope you think of me as a competent king if nothing else. I wouldn’t let any enemy of our people get away with a crime, especially one with consequences of this magnitude.”

Which wasn’t really a lie, even if he was letting her interpret his words incorrectly. As far as he was concerned, by abandoning his responsibilities, Olaug was an enemy to their people.

But Idonea simply nodded and hurried to the bed, burrowing beneath the covers. Nyrunn just took his blanket and resigned himself to the discomfort of the floor over the chair.

Did she think a cruel husband would be sleeping on the ground to respect her and ensure her comfort? Although inher twisted way of viewing things, she probably assumed it was because of how repulsive he found her.

If only she knew there was nothing more he wanted than to be near to her. But that would likely frighten her more than his imaginary disgust did.

As usual, he heard when the nightmares came.

But this time, he didn’t pretend not to hear. He pushed himself to his feet and crept to her side of the bed. As she tossed and turned, a whimper coming out of her lips, he reached over, brushing his hand over her shoulder. She whimpered again before her breathing turned increasingly shallow until she jolted, knocking his hand loose as she gasped for breath, choking on nothing and clawing at her necklace.

Why was she even wearing it while she slept?

“Idonea, breathe—”

“You try breathing when you’re drowning,” she muttered. Was that what the nightmare had been? Why was she having a nightmare about drowning? Did it have to do with the Constellation Pool?

“Your nightmare was about you drowning?”

She closed her eyes with a wince. He started to reach for the clasp of her necklace. “Sleeping with this on surely isn’t helping—”

She smacked his hand away, then stared at him with wide eyes. She stammered, “I—I’m sorry—I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

Before he could respond, she just drew the covers up over herself and hid from him, but he could see where her hands trembled, clenched into the fabric. He sat on the ground beside her, just watching as she pretended not to cower from his mere presence.

This wasn’t working.

But Nyrunn didn’t know what he could do to fix it.

Chapter 11

Idonea had never had this problem before. In a few previous lifetimes, after she and Olaug were married, they were both dealing with their memories of their past lives haunting them at night so they both understood enough to not talk about it. In the lifetimes she remembered and he didn’t, he didn’t take much of an interest in her nightmares, so she never had to hide anything about them from him.

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