Finally, she finished and took a long drink of water, trying to chase the taste away.
Nyrunn was slowly eating the cake, watching her more than actually eating. She sat up straight, distancing herself from the tray and leaving the cake where it was untouched.
He narrowed his eyes and said, “You're not serious.”
“What?”
“I know your objection isn't that you hate Asterberry Cake. You just forced yourself to eat your least favorite mealbecause it's tradition and now you won't even take a single bite of your favorite dessert because of it?”
She narrowed her eyes at him and lied through her teeth because there was no earthly reason he should know that. “I don't know what you're talking about. Venison is perfectly acceptable, and I don't like asterberries in the first place, much less cake with them in it.”
“If you have no problem with venison, you ought to tell your expression when you eat it, because you don't look happy,” Nyrunn said. “And really? You hide behind the desk during the middle of your shift in the library during peak asterberry season so you can take your time and enjoy them without being rushed because you hate them? Or the Head Librarian makes sure you get one of these cakes on your birthday every year because he knows how much you despise it?”
Well, Idonea's lie had been predicated on her assumption he didn't know any of that or else she wouldn't have wasted her time.
Also,he knew that?
She wasn't sure how long she was blankly staring at him, trying to figure out when, how, and why he had gathered and retained that information before he shifted back. Something pulsed on the other side of the wall. “So you might as well eat it or else it goes to waste.”
To be fair, she was already married to the wrong man. She could hardly mess this up further. She silently dove into the little dessert, working hard to keep a smile from spreading over her face the second it hit her tongue. Asterberries were absolutely her favorite.
Although the way Nyrunn was watching her made it easy not to smile or let anything slip that would confirm his assumptions.
Finally, she took the last delightful bite and inclined herhead toward the tray that was now full of dirty dishes. “There, are you happy now?”
Something flickered briefly in his eyes, but even after spending so long living again and again with full blooded Star Elves, she struggled to read them. Sometimes she wished she was a Sun Elf—at least they weren’t as reserved.
“What have you done?”
Idonea stilled.
Nyrunn gestured to his arm. “When I was gone, I was still feeling… everything. Then… it just stopped. Or… I could still sense you, but not what you were feeling, if that makes any sense.”
Oh.
“It’s a technique. The Constella teaches it to all the couples, how to control what goes through the bond so it’s not overwhelming. I put up a wall so you should no longer feel my emotions and I don’t feel yours as strongly.” Idonea shrugged. “I figured it’ll be better that way.”
Nyrunn nodded. “Of course. That was a good call. Things… things got out of hand before.”
Idonea raised her hand between them. “We don’t need to revisit it.”
Nyrunn nodded and gathered the tray, returning to the tent entrance, poking his head out and calling for a servant to take it. Idonea pushed herself off the bed and positioned herself in front of her things, crossing her arms.
There was really nothing else left, but if he thought—
When he turned back to face her, he saw her standing in front of her things and said, “Should I—”
“Just face the other way, and I'll let you know when you can turn around.” Idonea hoped her stern tone would overcome her panicked, racing heart.
She'd never done this with someone else. She knewhow it was supposed to go with her and Olaug—how it always went with the two of them—but this was uncharted territory for her. What would he expect from her? Surely he couldn't truly want to be her husband. She was half-human and he was royal. The idea surely repulsed him as much as it had his father and uncle.
Nyrunn did turn around, so Idonea took that as a good sign he was repulsed by her.
His uncle’s voice echoed in her head sometimes. The way he’d sneered over the word “beautiful” when he’d passed her, hair falling from her braid in a tangled mess, covered in dust and sweat from scrubbing floors. The way his laugh echoed off the walls when he would call her a mongrel in front of his friends.
She pushed Bror’s voice away and made quick work of getting out of the dress, which wasn't easy. However, like most things involved in the ceremony, the style of dress was the same as all the other times before, so she was able to get herself out without any assistance. She let the starry skirts fall to the floor and she dug out a nightgown, not the one she'd originally planned on, but one that was going to make both of them feel better with how modest and shapeless it was. She tucked her necklace under the collar.
Once she had the last button done up to her chin, she said, “You can turn around now, Your Majesty.”