Page 16 of Ties of Starlight

Worse. She wasn’t just ignorant to his feelings…

She thought he hated her? All this time she'd thought that?

“Really, even if you are responsible as king for this ceremony, it can't be worth marrying someone who hates you in return? It doesn't make sense.”

Not only did she think he hated her, but she truly hated him.

Oh. He'd had it all wrong.

He hadn't had his chance taken away from him the dayshe'd been chosen as part of the Cometa Couple. He'd never had a chance to start with.

She’d meant every word she’d said the other night.

This was so much worse than he'd imagined.

“I... I did what had to be done,” he whispered.

He couldn't tell her. Not the truth, not now.

It wasn't that she loved someone else because any affection she'd felt for him she could never have acted on before because of their stations and then her engagement. Even if she hadn't been selected and he'd been able to propose to her the day his mourning period ended like he had intended, she would have laughed in his face.

She would never have willingly married him.

And deep down he’d known that, hadn’t he? All his other rationalizing it away didn’t matter in the end. He hadn’t trusted her to marry him if she’d known it was actually him and not Olaug.

So why did it still feel like a punch to the gut?

She scoffed. “That will be a cold comfort after we finish this. You've condemned us both. You've ruined everything.”

So he had.

Tears were welling up in her eyes, but all Nyrunn could focus on was the way each word out of her mouth took the wind out of him.

“I can't—” Idonea covered her mouth with a hand for a moment. “I can't do this. You—How could you do this?”

Nyrunn didn't understand how much clearer he could be on the practical reasons. Heavens above, he couldn’t tell her now just how selfish and manipulative his other reasons had been. If she thought she hated him now, how much more would she if she knew the truth?

At least he wasn’t feeling anything that could betray him. He was completely numb. “I didn't have a choice. The ritual had to go on.”

But Idonea was rushing past him again, pace increasing as her voice rasped. But it was like she wasn't even listening to him. “Everything is ruined. I—Again. I failed again, and I can't do this. I can't keep doing this.”

Nyrunn turned on his heel and followed her, but she wasn't speaking to him. Her hands were in her hair, destroying the beautiful, elegant style. Tears were spilling over from her eyes.

“I'm never going to be free. I can't escape—”

“Idonea—” He tried to catch her again, but she was rushing about so much, when he did, she jerked them both to the side. They stumbled, and she hit the bed, and he barely flung his arm out to catch himself before he crushed her. But it left him hovering directly over her as she stared up at him, hatred and horror and fury all rising anew and flooding into his veins.

His stomach rolled and bile rose in his throat.

Thiswas what she’d been feeling every time she’d looked at him?

Her hands had caught his shirt, but she quickly slammed her palms against his chest, trying to shove him away as she scurried back. “Get away from me!”

He stumbled away as she practically threw herself off the other side, the whole bed now between them, and sank to the floor.

It was clear. Being married to him was the worst thing that had ever happened to her.

But he ignored the pieces of his heart scattered on the ground around them and whispered, “What can I do? How can I make this right?”