Page 69 of The Wicked Prince

“I didn’t sign them. I’m not going to. I’m staying with you.”

Robin’s arms sliding around his waist stabilized him as his legs buckled, and he staggered, his leg brushing hers.

“You’re… I thought—I don’t understand.”

“I am too much of a coward to be able to love one. But you are no coward. And… you make me less of one.” Robin’s hand rested on his heart. “I became Robin Hood because of you. You’ve always made me braver. Your brother called me out on it. I’ve accused you of being obsessed with me, but the truth is I have been obsessed with you for far longer. You made me brave enough to pick up my bow and start poaching. Hating you and obsessing over what I could do to ruin your plans kept me going for years. I lay awake at night with my aching leg and I cursed you, and that anger propelled me forward into becoming everything I am. But there was still this lingering sense in my mind—Do you think I really went to the first speech you gave just because? Do you think I really came back that night just for that golden arrow?”

John was still a little too dazed to really follow what she was trying to get at.

“It was for you. I’ve spent so long running away, and at some point I was chasing after you just as much as I was running from everything behind me. But I could not outrun the reason I started chasing you in the first place. And then I ran right into your trap. And by then I’d shelved my doubts. I knew I wasn’t everything everyone said I was, but I believed you were everything those same people said you were. Until you asked me to marry you.”

Robin’s ring over his heart caught the light, and he could feel it beat harder, like it was trying to break out of his chest and place itself in her hand.

She continued, “When I first agreed to marry you, part of it was for the pardon for my men, but the other was because of the first time we met. I couldn’t remember what was true and what was false. What you’d actually done compared to the rumors you let everyone believe.”

John blinked down at her. “What? I didn’t do anything other than see your face when we first met.”

“Not when you first met Robin Hood.” Robin smiled up at him. “When you first met Roberta.”

“I didn’t meet you until you were Robin Hood.”

“No. I discovered after marrying you that you just don’t remember it… It was a beautiful day. I was seven. My parents were so honored to be hosting the royal family, but I couldn’t care less. I just wanted to be outside in the forest, so I put on my plainest clothes and slipped out. It drove my parents crazy, but they couldn’t stop me. I was good at running away even then. I went out to the edge of the forest on the estate and started climbing, like I always did.”

John furrowed his brow. There was something in the back of his mind starting to rise up, but it was still out of reach.

“Eventually, it was getting late. I knew my parents would be looking for me, so I started to make my way back. Of course, through the trees. That was when I spotted a boy, about twelve. He was sitting beneath a tree with a sketchbook in his lap.”

Wait… if this was what he thought it was—

“I… I think I’m starting to remember this.” John’s stomach pitched and he tightened his grip on her as all the color left his skin. “You—You were the girl in the tree?”

“Let me finish,” Robin said with a small smile. “I made my way through the branches, trying to find a spot that would let me see what you were drawing. I was a nosy little thing with no care for my own safety, so I had one leg wrapped around the branch as I craned my neck to see, and sent a few leaves falling. Then, you slammed your sketchbook shut and leapt up, demanding I show myself. And I fell.”

It was all coming back.

“And you broke your leg,” John whispered. “I broke your leg.”

But what shocked him more was now that he remembered she’d been that little girl, he was more aghast at how she’d simply handed that leg over to him countless times throughout the winter to soothe what he’d broken.

“I thought that for a long time. I hit the ground with a horrible snapping sound and it was a pain I had never felt before. I was screaming and crying. I couldn’t help myself, and I started to pick myself back up, not realizing of course that would only make things worse, and it did. And everything was hazy and jumbled, and then Prince Richard was carrying me back into the house. Afterwards, everyone told me what had happened. That Prince John had scared me on purpose to make me fall and break my leg, and thankfully Prince Richard came along quickly and carried me back. That Prince John had just been standing there, enjoying watching me cry in pain.”

John’s own recollection was hazy, growing clearer by the minute, but before he could try to make any sense of it, Robin’s fingers were softly shifting on his chest, and she was continuing, “And I thought I remembered for a moment, you looking up out of the corner of your eye, that you’d seen me in the tree before I sent the leaves falling. At least that’s what I told myself when everyone said you had done it on purpose. What I remembered was someone running a hand through my hair for a moment, but I convinced myself I was just mixing up the timeline, surely that had been my mother after I’d been brought back. I thought I heard someone telling me that I just needed to be quiet for a moment so he could think, and I told myself that had to be the physician. That the person holding my hand had been my father. That the screaming for help was me. But… I always had doubts.”

John was starting to remember that day. He hadn’t known who the little girl was. It hadn’t mattered. The second she’d fallen out of the tree, he’d known what was going to happen next. That no one would believe it wasn’t his fault. He had never bothered denying anything. There would have been no point.

Richard had been the one to finally find them. John didn’t have the strength to carry her; if he had tried, he’d only make it worse.

“But then my parents died; I became Robin. Your parents died. Richard became king. The conflict at the border started and you became regent. It’s why I went to that speech. To see if I could spot any hint in you that maybe my doubts weren’t unfounded. Or at least confirm your reputation so wholly accurate that my doubts were ridiculous. Then you were there at the golden arrow trap, and those little doubts I was good at burying started to nag at me a little again. You seemed to be everything everyone said you were. I believed what everyone said. It made more sense. In what world did the cruel tyrant hold my hand and tell me help was coming?

“And then you caught me. And you asked me to marry you instead of killing me. And you knew I was Roberta, but you didn’t seem to remember that day. I wondered all over again. I wondered what had really happened. If what I remembered was true. That you brushed a hand over my cheek, wiping my tears away and begged me to stop crying. You said, ‘Indulge me. Please.’ But Prince John doesn’t say please. He doesn’t comfort people. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. But you do, and for some reason you let everyone believe you don’t.”

John remembered it all now. He remembered how terrified he’d been. For her. For the fact that he was going to be blamed. He remembered how her desperate, pained screams and sobs had made him want to claw his own ears off since there was nothing he could do.

“You said it yourself. I’m a coward.”

It had always just been easier to let everyone believe it until it had cost him Robin.

Robin shook her head. “A coward wouldn’t be here right now. I married you because I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know if I was wrong about you, and I was. But I was scared, and I am ashamed to say I let it rule me. But not anymore. My brave husband, I made a vow, and I intend on keeping it. I love you. I’m not running from it anymore. I’m not running from the past anymore.”

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