Page 96 of The Prince's Mage

She wanted peace. She wanted truth.

If that meant ending up on the table or dying, then she would bear it.

She told him how she felt she made little progress with him. Balancing what she thought he expected, the girl who cursed him between someone he trusted enough to take the limiters off.

“In the end, none of it had mattered. I set aside those orders from Hypatia the last time you were in this cell with me. Before you left. The lying was tearing me up, and I was not going to sully such a sacred moment with my deception. Gavril… everything that night was real. And every moment ever since between us.”

But if Gavril believed her, it didn’t show.

But she pressed on anyway.

She told him she wasn’t thinking about Hypatia’s orders when she woke up on that table again. She wasn’t thinking about Hypatia’s orders when she cried for him to come save her. When her heart stopped, her orders were the last thing on her mind. It was just him. She wasn’t thinking about Hypatia’s orders when she’d collapsed in his arms, declaring she was safe now that he was with her.

All of it was real.

Of course, her orders didn’t stay gone, but she was lost on what to do.

She told him how she decided not to go after him. Hypatia wanted a prince, but she never said Gavril, so she set her sights on Nikias. It had made her sick because she knew that he would feel so betrayed, but she was so terrified of being trapped in Areator that she could not see any other way out. But when she realized what he was after… True peace. Lasting peace, she’d lowered her hands.

“I stopped putting my faith in those orders and put my faith in you. I wanted your peace. Peace where I could keep you.” Marcella shook her head. “Those ravens… Hypatia sent so many to hound me about why I wasn’t meeting her demands and bringing her the hostage she wanted and the relic back. I replied to hopefully prepare her for your peace without setting her off. I can’t make you believe me after I have so thoroughly abused the faith you have put in me. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I tried to warn you not to. Human hands always fail. So believe me or not, but that is the truth.”

Throughout it all, she couldn’t tell if he believed her or not. All she saw was the damage she had done to him.

But he hadn’t left. So… as much as faith and hope had beaten her down, she could not relinquish them quite yet.

Gavril took a long breath and frowned. “There’s still something I don’t understand… Hypatia wanted a hostage, a prince. I almost walked out of Areator with you on my shoulder. I would have if you hadn’t stopped me. I would have walked right into your people’s lands, hands up, ready to be their hostage to keep you safe and away from those tables again. Why didn’t you take it?”

No. Marcella shook her head. Her voice broke, “Gavril…”

She’d already devastated him. Her curses had all come true. Why would he force her to continue shredding what little was left?

“Tell me, Marcella.”

She knew a command when she heard one. She obeyed.

“The truth?” Marcella took a deep breath. “It pains me to my core, but Gavril… would your parents negotiate peace if you were Hypatia’s hostage?”

Gavril’s jaw clenched. “No.”

With the limiters on, she couldn’t sense his vitae. She couldn’t tell if he had any illusions on him, hiding injuries from her.

She nodded. “And when Hypatia discovered no one was going to come for you… what did I think would happen to me when I thought you discovered no one was going to come for me?”

Gavril swallowed and his voice was barely a breath. “Hypatia would have killed me.”

Marcella lowered her gaze to her lap, eyes resting on his name etched onto the metal of her band. She whispered, “Then you see.”

“No. I don’t.” The force of his voice ripped her gaze back up to look at him. He’d shifted closer, grabbing one of the bars. His knuckles were stark white as he commanded her again. “You chose my life over your safety. Why?”

And the fact he was asking was enough for the littlest spark of hope. Because why would he ask if he was set on not believing her?

“I did not see it at the time. I do now. I was afraid to see it, so I stayed blind.” Marcella shifted closer to the bars, grabbing the same one he had. Her left hand placed over his. “I love you, Gavril. I cannot blame you if you cannot believe a word that falls from my false lips, but that is true. I love you.”

His grip on the bar beneath her hand tensed as his eyes burned into hers. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this sooner? When the ravens started coming, why didn’t you come clean?”

“Why didn’t you tell me we were married?”

Gavril swallowed thickly. “I would have thought that was obvious. Because I am a weak, pathetic man who is ruled by my fears. I thought that was why you hated me so fiercely, because I made you marry me since I saw no other way to protect you. Of course, it failed ultimately. It wasn’t until after I got you off the table the first time that I realized you had no idea we were married. And that your hatred of me ran deeper than that.”

---