Page 54 of Puck of the Irish

I push past the hurt and shame and embarrassment, and snort in disbelief.

“I haven’t taken any money from you in years, mysalaryin New York notwithstanding seeing as how I fucking earned that. What the hell are you talking about cutting me off?” I had a trust fund from mom, plus everything from her estate which was substantial, and everything I had saved from my job before I moved back here. I make decent money from the Vipers. So, I’ve been just fine on my own for quite a while.

“This house,” he says, steam practically coming out of his ears in irritation.

“This house was mom’s and then became mine,” I say, brow furrowing. What the fuck is he talking about?

“This house was never your mother’s. It’s always been mine, Natalie.” I blink, then blink again. He half-ass explains, “We kept it in my name for myriad reasons that don’t matter now, and just never got around to changing it.” My heart sinks. All this time, I thought I was out from under his thumb completely, but apparently not. My eyes fill with tears of anger.

“When I moved back here, you said…you said everything was taken care of with the house, that I didn’t need to worry about it.”

“Because you didn’t. You were grieving and didn’t need to be bothered with details of whose name was on a fucking deed, Natalie.”

“But…but you knew what I was really asking. You know I hate taking your handouts! I always have. You let me believe it was mine,” I say, shock making my voice sound thin.

“Yes, I did.” There is no remorse in his eyes, not a single fucking shred of it. I huff out a humorless laugh.

“You just had to have me under your control in some way, didn’t you?” I don’t know if what he’s saying is true, that he just didn’t want me to worry about the house while I was trying to handle losing mom, or if my own conclusion is closer to the truth, but right now, it doesn’t fucking matter. I see red and my heart splinters. Either way, he lied, knowing full well that I would have wanted to know the truth of it after the initial shock of mom’s death wore off. I shake my head.

“If that’s your ultimatum, then I choose my life as it is. I choosehim, dad.” I throw out a hand towards AJ. “He is my choice, always. So, I’ll be out of the house in two weeks and then you can do with it what you will.”

He blinks in shock, like he didn’t really believe I’d give up the house so easily. It’s not easy at all. It’s fucking torture. This is the house I’d grown up in, the one seeped in so many memories of mom, and even dad too, that it feels as if it’s a living, breathing part of me. Birthday parties and sleepovers, celebrating victories and letting tears fall with defeats, joy, pain, laughter, love, sorrow—all of it happened within these walls. My height is marked on the door frame upstairs. My handprints are in the concrete of the patio. My childhood dog, Marbles, is buried in the backyard beside the rosebushes. My first kiss, my big fallout with my best friend, Michelle when we were in tenth grade, my prom pictures senior and junior year—it was all here. I can’t imagine just…leaving it.

But I will. I’m going to remove myself completely from my father’s control and if that means I have to sever a part of me to do it, then so be it. Give me the fucking scalpel.

He grinds his teeth.

“Have it your way, Natalie.” I force the tears not to fall and keep my shoulders back, my spine straight. I swear I see thetiniest hint of pride in those gray eyes when he sees that, but it’s gone too quickly to be sure. He moves towards the door when AJ shifts to the side to let him pass. He lets the door slam shut behind him and all of the air rushes out of me, my legs threatening to give out. AJ is there in a heartbeat, gathering me in his arms. I cling to him, so grateful that he isn’t pissed that I was less than forthcoming about who I really am. He just holds me until I’ve got enough of a handle on myself and the situation to step away. I look at the tabloids strewn across the counter again and shake my head.

“I didn’t even think about this last night,” I admit quietly. “I don’t know why, but I didn’t even think about them plastering those pictures all over the place.”

“I’m so sorry, Nat.”

“I guess we’re officially official now,” I mutter, thinking about the conversation I had with Hattie and Bobby at the game yesterday. I sigh and lean my elbows on the cool granite of the countertop, putting my head in my hands. I feel him shift beside me, leaning against the counter.

“So…you’re really a Harrington, huh?” I look up and meet his gaze. There’s not anger there, but there’s some disappointment and confusion, and a touch of hurt. I don’t blame him. If he told me he was hiding a whole part of himself from me, I’d honestly probably be storming out right about now.

“Legally, no. My name really is Natalie Morgan. I took my mom’s name after they divorced to separate myself from him, from…all of it.” I wave my hand, encompassing the entirety of the Harrington name. The hotels and apartment buildings, the foundations, the scholarships, the stadiums, the hospital wings—the list goes on and on. “But…yes. I’m a Harrington.”

His eyes bulge and I know he’s putting pieces together.

“The fucking Celeste…the hotel is named after you.” I nod and he runs his hands through his hair, shaking his head slowly.“And you were there that night for his fundraiser because you’re a part of the foundation too, whether you like it or not, right?” I don’t answer because he already knows the truth. He begins to pace through the area between the living room and kitchen and I just watch, feeling helpless and honestly a little terrified. What is he really thinking? Is he pissed? Will he…end this?

“Jesus, Nat, you said your dad worked in real estate.”

“Technically he does…” It sounds weak even in my own ears and he gives me a level look.

“I thought he was a fuckingrealtor, not the guy who owns half of Seattle for fuck’s sake. And not just Seattle from what I understand…” I can see the wheels turning. Everyone thinks that Anthony Rizzo is just a hot, dumb jock, but really, he’s smart as hell and sees way more than anyone realizes. “I’m assuming that’s who you were working for in New York, then? The east coast branch of Harrington Group?” I nod again.

“Do the others know? Mac and Bobby?”

“No, you’re the first to find out the whole truth. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just…I’ve never wanted to be in that shadow, but especially since I came back after my mom’s death. I didn’t want any of you to know who I really was, or who my family was, I guess, because I was trying to start over. I didn’t want the name to be the first thing anyone saw.” I chew on my lip, worry opening up a pit in my stomach the size of the Grand Canyon.Oh God…what if he leaves?It’s a real possibility and he would have every right to but fuck, I really don’t know if I can take it if he does. And to think, I’d been convinced thathe’dbe the reason this didn’t work out, that he’d be the one to ruin it.

“Are you mad? You have every right to be, I’m just…asking,” I finish lamely, my throat feeling thick.

“Mad?” He studies me and I hold his gaze, too afraid to look away. He sighs. “No, I’m not mad, Nat. I’m…I don’t know, hurt I guess that you didn’t think you could share this part of yourlife with me. I understand that you didn’t want to when you were first starting with the Vipers, or even when we were all just starting to hang out as friends, but now that we’re more, I…well, I just thought that you felt like you could share anything and everything with me, Nat. I thought we were both in the same place.”

“We are,” I say, desperate. “I do. I just…it just never seemed like the right time to bring it up. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you now, I promise, I just kind of forgot, honestly.” He snorts and I push on. “I’m serious. I’ve been so fucking happy since we started this that I haven’t thought about anything else, especially the things that try to blotch out even a tiny bit of this happiness with their darkness, and my dad and our relationship and that whole part of my life is a huge ball of fucking dark. So, I pushed it all away and didn’t even think about the fact that you didn’t know about it. Because it didn’t matter. You know me better than anyone else in the world ever has, the real me down to my bones, regardless of my last name, regardless of who my parents are, regardless of the front I’ve put on for almost everyone else in my life. You know me, AJ. All of me. I need you to believe that. Please believe that.”

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