Page 51 of Hold On

“Your mother’s been worried sick, and I’ve been having to hear about it. So, shut her up and get inside, you ungrateful son of a bitch!!” He walks past me, his beer bottle meeting his lips as he slams the front door.

I’m just about up from the lawn when I see Alina pull back around. I smile, even though it’ssostupid of her to still be here. She parks out front and runs to the gate, where I hobble over to meet her.

“Bash. Get in the fucking car,” she pleads with me, but I shake my head no.

“I’ll be ok, baby,” I lie to her as she shakes her own head in disbelief. She rattles the chain-link fence for emphasis.

“Get in the fucking carnow, Bash!Fuck!!” She’s hysterical, but I can’t.

My mom’s been worried about me…

“I’ll call you later, baby. Go home.” I start to turn away as she sobs, watching me before she gets back in her car alone.

“If you don’t call me, I’m calling the fucking cops!” she screams through the rolled down passenger’s window. She peels out as I turn back to my house, bracing myself for the hell that the rest of the night is sure to be.

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Then

Alina:

I’ve been so fucking anxious that I’ve been a bitch to my family all night. I barely ate dinner and have been hiding out in my room, waiting for Bash to call me. I’ve literally just been staring at my phone, replaying every awful moment from earlier with his dad. And hoping to fucking god that nothing else has happened this evening while he’s been back home.

I’m chewing on my nails nervously and watching the black screen of my phone. It’s unchanging. It feels like it’s mocking me, sitting there all dark and silent. I’m pacing back and forth, my stereo softly playing Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park as I do a fuck-ton of nothing but worry.

It’s getting later and my parents won’t let me out past a certain time. I decide to lie and ask to go to a “friend’s house”, even though I really don’t have any friends. Not ones I’d want to spend the night with willingly anyway. The only person I ever want to be around anymore is Bash. So, I pack a bag and get the ok from my parents, leaving my house as quickly as I can before driving into town.

I pull into a Walmart parking lot and wait. An hour goes by, so I finally decide to text him. It’s been way too fucking long. It’s dark outside and I have nowhere to go. I need to find out if he’s ok. I wait another twenty minutes and start to cry. Fuckingnothing. I’m about to start my car and drive to his house when my phone rings and his name flashes across my screen.

I answer it immediately and scream his name into the receiver. “BASH?!” I ask uncertainly. There’re a few seconds of silence through the phone until I hear him swallow.

“Lina Girl?” His voice is so faint. I begin to cry harder.Something isn’t right. “Where you?” he asks me strangely.

“Baby, I’m at Walmart. I’ve been waiting for you! I left my house so I could come check on you. You didn’t call me!!” I say in a rush. There’s another long pause. He takes a shaky breath.

“Uhm… Lina Girl?” he repeats again. I’m beginning to panic. His tongue sounds heavy, like he’s having trouble speaking.

“Bash,” I try to say as calmly as I can, even though I’m freaking the fuck out inside. “Where are you, baby?” The pause is longer. I hear him breathing, but he’s not responding. “BASH!!” I scream, so fucking tense. He makes a sound like I’ve startled him. “Stay awake for me, baby! I need to find you. Are you at home?” I ask frantically. He moans before there’s another pause. I feel like I’m breaking into a million tiny pieces.

“I’m home, where you?” he finally answers lazily. I start my engine, driving for his house while putting Bash on speaker. My heart is racing out of control. I feel like I’m going to die. If something terrible happened to Bash, I’ll never forgive myself for leaving him there to fend for himself.

“I’m coming, Sebastian! Stay on the phone with me!!” I plead as I speed down the road. The pauses are so long before he responds that I swear I’m going to be pulling up to a dead boyfriend. I hope with everything I am that’s not the case.

I park away down the road, walking up to his house while staying hidden by the shadows. I keep trying to ask Bash where he is, but he’s not very responsive. I also have no idea where his room is in conjunction to the layout of the house. He’s still on the phone with me though as I quietly jump the low fence out frontand crouch down to sneak around the side of the house. As I near the back on the right side, there’s a large window that opens up into the kitchen. I can see a woman cleaning dishes at the sink, quiet tears rolling down her face.

I furrow my brow, my heart sinking in my chest. Her eyes look empty, hollow. Like she isn’t seeing much of anything. I realize she’s only washing the same dish, rubbing it with a washcloth in an absentminded circle. I hear the shout of a man, and my body starts to shake as Bash’s father’s irate face flashes through my mind.

“Why the fuck are you taking so long to wash the damn dishes, Carol?” he yells as he approaches the window. I sink back further into the shadows, deathly afraid of this man.

“There were a few extra things with Sebastian-“

“Don’t say that fucker’s name,” he threatens as she squeaks, rubbing at the dish harder. He grips the back of her neck in his fingers and squeezes as she opens her mouth and falls forward into the water in the sink, clearly in pain. “That boy is dead to me. And you should give up on him too.”

“He’s our son!” she wails before he smacks her on the back of her head.

“He’snothing. Now, hurry the fuck up and get upstairs so I can fuck you before going to sleep. I have to get up early,” he says with a growl. She nods, silently crying. This woman is completely broken.

“Lina Girl?” Bash asks in my ear. I’d forgotten I was on the phone with him still. I’m frozen, waiting for his mom to leave the kitchen. She does so quickly, I’m assuming to make sure she doesn’t further upset his dad.

“Bash? I’m by the kitchen in the back. Where are you? Where’s your room?” I ask quickly. The light in the kitchen window goes out and darkness takes over. My eyes need a moment to adjust. Bash breathes heavily, struggling to talk.

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