Page 15 of Hold On

“Get it all out, kitten. You have a job to finish,” he growls at me as I continue to barf all over my fucking living room. It’severything I can do to keep from hyperventilating so I can finish this punishment and move onto recovering.

When I think I’m in the clear, I turn back to him and crawl again upon my shaky hands and knees. Not because I want to or because it was commanded of me, but because I’m hurting so badly. My nose continues to throb and discharge blood across my lips. My vision is bleary and I’m finding it hard to stay awake as I begin to lose energy, my adrenaline waning while exhaustion sets in.

“You can sleep when you’re done, Alina. I have a load to blow in your dirty, disobedient mouth,” Luke seethes as I climb back to his lap and descend upon him in one final act of non-consensual submission.

He finishes on my tongue, making me look at him as I swallow. It’sexpected. I open my mouth before he has to ask, to show him I complied. He nods and zips himself back into his pants, the red of my blood making the purple of his suit look dark and demented. “I expect you be ready to go Friday at your usual time, without any interferences from that fucking musician. If he wasn’t such a high-profile fuck around, I would’ve had him taken care of already to ensure that what’s mine isn’t taken from me without permission.” He gets up, leaving me on my knees by the sofa. “Don’t disappoint me again, Alina. You won’t like the consequences. And neither will he.”

He strolls out the front door without looking back as I black out.

Chapter Nine - Now

Sebastian:

I’m pacing my room, goingfuckinginsaneas I imagine every fucked up scenario that Alina ended up in last night. I was so blinded by my anger that I hadn’t thought to give her my number or grab hers. I’m currently regretting that, very fucking much.

This stress is making me want to use. I think of the bliss a needle could bring, but know it’ll only be temporary. I have no idea the state Alina is in, and it could mean disaster if I find her too late. I don’t think I should prepare myself for anything other than that.

I cry out, fisting my hair in my hands as I sit on the edge of my bed and try to think. I have a sudden idea. I haven’t looked Alina up online in years and maybe her social media could give me a clue as to where she is or lives. I’m willing to stalk her, trying anything to get what I want. I don’t have a good feeling, and I barely slept all night due to my raging anxiety. My fingers are shaking as I enter Instagram and type in her name.

She pops up immediately, making the need inside my racing heart that much more apparent. Just seeing her smiling face in these pictures is causing me to ache for her. It’s why I stayed away from social media and tended to hire someone else for these things while I was on tour.

Those green eyes… Lina Girl…

I scroll for a moment as I admire her beauty, getting lost in all the pictures of my girl. Most of them seem to beadvertisements for the bar, but I figure it’s a front for whatever she’s doing with her body behind it.Godfuckingdammit,she’sgorgeous. The most beautiful woman in the fucking world and she’s literally throwing herself away for trash ass men.

I don’t fucking understand it.

My sinking gut reminds me I’m on a mission here. I stop gawking at her face long enough to try and see if anything points to an address or a neighborhood she might frequent. No addresses other than the bar are tagged. I’m sighing defeatedly, thinking of giving up hope when I scroll to the top and see the saved stories above her feed. One is titledHomewith a white heart emoji next to it. My thumb clicks it desperately, praying for some sort of clue to be hidden inside it.

I recognize the houses immediately. She’s purchased one of the small brick homes built by the high school we used to attend. There’s a selfie of her holding up a key in front of the door. I’m able to see the letter on the side of the house, just above her shoulder. Unit G. It’s enough to go off of as I scramble around my room, dressing myself quickly so I can go get my fucking girl and bring her fucking home. Five minutes later, I’m in the car and speeding towards the area where we first met.

“Hold on, Lina Girl.”

It’s a prayer and I repeat it the entire way to her place.

Chapter Ten - Then

Sebastian:

“Can I sit on your lap?” she asks with a fiery look in her eyes. I nod, suddenly mute, as Alina jumps up enthusiastically and hurries over to me. Ilikeher. Everything she does is because she wants to do it. It’s not a behavior shethinksI will like. She isn’t putting up a fake front as to who she is. She’s excited I said yes and isn’t hiding that.

It’s real. Unlike like that dumb bitch, Claire.

I open my arms as she climbs onto my body in the last way I expected her to. She’s straddling me, her legs folded on either side of my thighs, her warm crotch pressed over my very stiff dick. She bites her bottom lip as she settles in and stares at me. “Hi,” she whispers with a laugh, and I can’t help but do the same. She leans into me and we’re kissing, her hips moving over mine, teasing the fuck out of me. I dig my fingers into one of them as she continues to grind upon me. So, I settle my head back on the built-in chair cushion to enjoy my fucking lap dance. “Is this ok?” she murmurs, her bravery wavering a little bit.

“It’s more than ok, Lina Girl,” I manage to respond, and her smile deepens as she moans a little. “It feels good, doesn’t it?” I ask her, making her nod sincerely.

“Yes,” she answers, breathless. “I like being this way with you,” she admits as her cheeks turn red.

“I like it too.” Her smile widens as she kisses me with more intensity. I’m obsessed with the way she explores my mouth. I’m used to the girls I usually fuck around with expecting me to takethe lead. Alina isn’t being aggressive. She’s just curious and not ashamed about that. Iloveit. Her hips continue to circle my hard-on as she has her way with me. Her fingers have moved to my hair and are starting to massage my scalp as we make out on her back porch.

I almost missed all of this.

This day wasn’t supposed to go this way.

Alina:

I can’t help myself.

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