Page 71 of Hold On

Alina:

Bash holds the fox tail the whole ride back to his house. I drive so he can relax. Plus, he won’t stop fisting the tail like a scared toddler gripping their most sacred blanket or stuffed animal. Who am I to get in the way of what he needs before this fucked up evening? I decide I’ve never loved him more as I watch him out of the corner of my eye. He’s the sweetest soul that’s ever existed.

The box with the ears and the rest of my outfit is sitting in the back seat. It feels so surreal to actually be using this box. It’s been buried in my closet for years. And I honestly never believed I’d see the day that Bash would want to fuck me again. I’d come to the conclusion in my mind that even if we did reconnect, he’d deem me unworthy of his body. And I had let that be the story that was playing nonstop in my head ever since. And yet, he can’t let go of that damn tail and he’s seated next to me, ready to defend my honor to the world’s biggest dickhole.

Life is fuckingstrange.

We pass Cade as I pull into the driveway. It still feels weird that he was involved in Bash’s mom’s death. I know he had a job to do, and I thought little of her. But it hurt Bash. And that’s the only person who I care about left in this world. So, I feel mixed emotions about thepig.

We try to eat, but neither of us can stomach anything. We end up fucking in the kitchen instead. Hard and sloppy and full of repressed things we aren’t saying to each other in the hopes that they’re just fears, not the actual truth. I refuse to think thatI’ll be losing Bash for good if something goes wildly wrong. Ican’t. I’d rather die than live without him again.

We help each other dress as we costume ourselves for our fucked up play date. We’re both quiet, trying to soak up what could be our last minutes we have together.

I help him first. Black leather pants. A dark button-down shirt. Black pinstriped vest. A studded belt with multiple chains. Large, sterling silver rings with colorful stones. A silver chain for his neck. A white tie. White Doc Marten platform boots. A silver tie clip with a bird’s skull. And rolled sleeves to the elbows to show off the silver bracelets I hang upon his wrists.

If I had a dick, I’d be hard at the sight of him standing in front of me.

“You’re fucking stunning,” I breath as we both look to the mask on the bed. “I can’t wait for the finished look.”

“Thank you, baby. Your turn, Lina Girl,” he says gently. I nod my head and allow him to guide my body.

Bash strips me bare, touching every inch of me as he goes. He squeezes my breasts and bites at my nipples, flicking them with his sinful tongue before hooking a black bra over my tits. It has a series of straps that accentuate my breasts beautifully and meet between the pair of them. He pulls a black thong over my hips, helping me into my fishnet stockings before setting a lacy waist piece over my underwear. He connects the stockings to it by the clasps that hang down the front and back of my thighs. He grabs my heels from the box next and crouches down before me, gently guiding each of my feet into the high stilettos. They’re shiny and black and sharp as shit. “If looks could kill,” Bash murmurs as he looks over my body from head to toe. “Let’s get your ears on,” he breathes, pulling them from the box last. I smile as he holds them delicately, his face softening even further as he meets my eyes. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Alina.”

His voice is distant, like he’s lost in a memory or vision. I realize that vision is me as he kisses me so deeply, so purely, filled with so much love. Tears creep down his cheeks as he fastens the ears into my hair. I’m breathing strangely, a weird mix of terrified and turned on warring inside of my body. My fingers grip his vest as his own grip the flesh of my hips and ass.

“I’ll always be grateful to you for saving my life,” Bash whispers. I smile through a sea of tears.

“No matter what happens, everything I’ve been through has been worth it to have this time with you,” I say upon a sob. His fingers move over my ass cheek as if he were playing a sequence of cords on his guitar. I melt before him, remembering that boy from all those years ago. “I want to show you something,” I say quietly as he furrows his brow in curiosity. I walk to my bag of things I brought to his house and unzip it, finding the folded picture frame. I grab it and bring it to my chest before rising and walking over to him.

I reach out my arm with the frame between us and say nothing. He trembles, his fingers shaking as he takes the gift and opens it. The first picture on the left is of him alone, sitting on my bed in high school, playing his guitar. He has an easy smile on his face and his eyes are closed. He looked so peaceful when it was happening, I snuck in a picture on a disposable camera while he was preoccupied. The second is one of us that we took together, also in my bed. We were naked and cuddling and I’m plastered to his chest. His hand is holding my face, and his lips are pressed into my cheek. I look so young and happy. So free of pain in his hands and against his lips. It’s always made me feel less alone to look at it when life starts throwing shit at me.

Bash says nothing as his eyes meet mine. But they’re filled with all the emotions he isn’t speaking out loud. He takes a deep breath. “I’m going to lose it if I tell you exactly what this means to me. But after Luke dies, I’ll show you. I just have to get usthrough this. I have to keep it together for a few more hours, Lina Girl.”

“You’re doing great, Bash Cox,” I whisper as I gather his face in my hands and press my forehead to his. “Let’s give him fucking hell.”

“Hell is the least of his worries,” Bash says menacingly. “I’m about to unleash thirty-two years of repressed trauma upon him. In my eyes tonight, Luke is my father.”

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Now

Alina:

Bash is holding my tail in his arms. I have his plague doctor mask in mine. We walk to the car and climb inside, our eyes lingering on each other as we sit. His guitar, amp and a bag of things we need to introduce Luke to his demise are sitting in the back seat. I do a quick inventory check before I place his mask amongst it all. Bash won’t let go of my fox tail and I don’t pressure him to. I know the comfort it’s bringing him and honestly, it’s making me happy watching him hold it. I grab a small box I secretly stowed in our bag, handing it to him.

He looks at me, confused.

“One last gift,” I say with a wicked grin. Bash can’t help but smirk at me, rolling his eyes as he opens it. Then they darken, accompanied by disbelief. Inside is a collar and a leash, sitting upon a red velvet cushion. He looks up at me with hunger in his gaze.

“Oh, you like to play, don’t you, Lina Girl?” he asks breathlessly. I cock a brow, nodding deviously. He grips my throat with desperate fingers, violently licking at my pulse. I whimper as the sharp sting of his teeth sends a thrill through my body.

“No matter what the fuck happens, this is the best night of my fucking life,” he growls as he nips at my jaw next, climbing up the side of my face with his mouth. My eyes roll back intomy head as he grabs the collar and hooks it around my neck, securing it just tight enough to remind me I’m his. “I’ll add the leash after the plug,” he states with authority. I breathe out desperately, practically panting due to the heated desire flooding my body,needingthis all to happen.Knowingit’s going to be happening in front of Luke.

“Fuck,” I whisper as he starts the car, kissing me one last time before accelerating forward. No turning back now. We’re doing this. And no matter what happens, I’ll either leave with the love of my life or die with him. And I’m so ok with that.

Bash grabs my thigh as we sidle up to Cade’s car. We each roll our windows down to talk.

“I’ll let Luke know I’ve seen you leave. He’s expecting me to tail you, but I’m going to head to the mansion after a while and tell him I tailed the wrong person. That Bash led me somewhere and lost me while Alina must’ve fled later in his mom’s car. Before I leave with Luke to look for you, I’ll set the dogs free. So, park down the street, but out of sight. Hang tight for at least an hour. That’ll allow the mansion to be cleared and the dogs to scare enough people away. I’ll corral them when I’m back, text Alina, then you and Bash can get set up wherever you’re doing this thing. Which is where, by the way?” he asks me.

“The pool,” I say over Bash’s lap. Cade nods his head and draws his thumb over his bottom lip.

---