Page 70 of Hold On

I lock myself in his bathroom and sob as the shower pours over me.

Sebastian:

I can hear her in the shower, even though she thinks she’s trying to cry as quietly as she can. It’s like a goddamn exorcism and it’s honestly all I need to snap out of my fucking daze. Hearing a hurt Alina has always helped to clarify my thinking. I know I’ll be fucked up after this, as will she. But I steel myself and make a promise to get us through the next twenty-four hours. We can each fall apart in a different country after we’ve fled this absolute shit show. Who knows how long it’ll take to recover.

I knock on the door and her crying settles down.

“It’s locked,” she calls, her voice cracking.

“Can I come in?” I ask, grabbing the key to the door sitting above the frame, where I keep it.

“Ok,” she replies weakly. I unlock the door, opening it desperately before shoving my way in. The steam from the shower swirls lazily around in the air as I enter the humid room. Alina looks so small curled up in the corner of the shower. I quickly strip, joining her on the tile.

She won’t look at me. I’m trying not to take it personally. I know I could jump to a fuck-ton of conclusions, but my gut is telling me to be patient.

“Lina Girl,” I mutter, trying to sound comforting. But it sounds as empty as I feel. I try to forgive myself for that, knowing I’m going through it too.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “About your mom. About me. About everything.”

“I’m not,” I honestly respond before I can think about it too much. “It’s a lot of shit. Everything you just mentioned. But I’ll never be sorry about you. Whatever way I get you. How fucked up our story has been. Because it’s been us the whole time. We’ve never asked for a more perfect version. We’ve always accepted each other as is. In used condition.” She laughs at that. I grab her perfect face in both of my hands. She melts and pushes her cheek into one of them and crawls forward into my lap.

“I love you, Sebastian.”

Hearing my full name from her lips will always be weird, but it undoes me when it comes from her mouth.

“And I love you, Alina fucking Timber.” She sheds a few more tears at that. “We’re almost there, baby.”

“Let’s finish this. Then I’m never coming back to this shit hole again,” she breathes. I nod.

“We’ll make a life for ourselves. So fucking far from this nightmare. I promise.” I just can’t promise we won’t be dead before that happens.

But even if we die, we’ll finally find peace. Lying with Lina in a grave sounds like an eternity of bliss.

*****

We drive to Lina’s house. It’s the last stop on our list. Earlier in the day, we grabbed everything else we needed for tonight, besides the outfit she’s going to wear. We pass by Cade again, who’s positioned at the end of my driveway by the road inside his own car. He nods to us, and we nod back. Alina grabs my hand, her trembling fingers needing something to ground herself with.

“Wave to our babysitter,” I joke sarcastically. She sighs next to me, unamused. “It’s ok, Lina Girl. He’s on our side,” I whisper. She rolls her eyes.

“Or so he claims,” she mumbles back absentmindedly. “He’s still a cop and I don’t trust cops. But I don’t think any of thatmatters right now. Nothing will make me feel better until we’re fucking done with this shit.”

“I know,” I reply darkly. We’re silent for the rest of the ride. When we get to her house, she shivers before unbuckling her seat belt. I decide in my head this is the last time she will have to enter this place. Too much trauma was sustained here.

We walk into her room, and she disappears into her closet. I follow her, leaning against the door frame as she grabs a box sitting beneath her hung clothes. When she opens the lid, I can see the beautiful, bushy tail sitting on top of a pile of lingerie and other miscellaneous things. The red is striking and despite the circumstances, my dick hardens thinking of her taking that damn plug as I insert it into her body.

I rub my cock with a groan. Lina smirks as she watches me.

“Soon, fuck doll,” she says with a playful wink. It feels so normal, I can’t help but laugh.

“Oh, Lina Girl. With that tail in my hands, you’ll bemyfuck doll. I promise you that,” I warn her. Her cheeks turn pink as she looks back to the tail, petting it softly. She grabs it gently, handing it to me. I bring the soft, faux fur to my face, rubbing it against my cheek. “Are there matching ears?” I ask curiously. She rolls her eyes at my obviously dumb question.

“Duh, Bash Cox. I wouldn’t half-ass a look for you, dickhead!” she says with an attitude that’s filled with disgust.

“Forgive me for my stupidity,” I say with a grin as I rub the tail over my skin again. It’s bringing me comfort and I don’t take that lightly. I need it to ground me so I can get through this evening. Alina grabs the box, holding her hand up for the tail in my own, but I hesitate. She looks at me funny. “I just… it’s helping to calm me down. I know that sounds stupid,” I say with a trembling voice, fisting the tail in my nervous fingers.

“Keep it safe for us, baby,” she whispers as she kisses my cheek. We linger with our foreheads touching before leaving her place.

*****

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