Page 67 of Hold On

“Tell me this instant, Bash Cox!” I yell excitedly as I finally locate the nail polish and unscrew the top of it. The smell immediately fills the room. It transports me back to my bedroom in high school, where I’d paint Bash’s toes out of boredom. And for an excuse to touch him. Not that I needed one. I just loved doting upon him. I’m reminded of that as I begin to cover his nails with black paint.

“For my third, self-titled album, I was sick of only being seen astalentedfor my pretty face,” he starts to explain. I scoff.

“Rude. They knew nothing of your legendary fingers it sounds like,” I playfully tease as he smiles at me and laughs.

“Anyway, I decided to go the Kiss route and cover my face. But I wasn’t about to paint it every night and sweat it off, shit running in my eyes while performing. So, I figured a mask would be the best way to go, even though it probably made me sweat more,” Bash continues. I suck in a sudden breath.

“The plague doctor!!” I scream hysterically. He grins at me. “How did I forget about that look?”

“You’ve been a little preoccupied. I’ll let it slide,” he teases. “But yes, Lina Girl. And it’s down in the garage, just waiting to be unboxed for this very occasion.”

“I might die being next to you in that damn mask,” I admit. He cocks a brow as I finish his first foot.

“Does that mask do it for you?” he asks with an edge as I shrug, feeling shy.

“Maybe. You know I have a thing for Daddy Vader. But I’m sure you’ve used it with all your groupies, and I don’t really feel like reenacting anything that happened during your tour,” I say a little bitterly, as Bash rolls his eyes.

“I like Jealous Lina. But to ease your thoughts, that thing was fucking hot to wear and more for show than function. So no, it did not see the light, or lack of it, in my hotel rooms or tour bus bed. It occupied a large box to keep it pristine while we drove to the next show,” he finishes. I narrow my eyes.

“A fox for a plague doctor?” I ask in a sultry tone. He nods, his eyes burning brightly as they stare into mine.

“Anything for you, Lina Girl,” he whispers as I finish his second foot.

“Good. I think we have things figured out, then,” I say happily. “Do you know the guitar and amp set up you’ll need? And what about a mic?”

“I have a headset that I used with the mask that’s packed away with it in the garage. And yes, I know the instrument I’m bringing with me,” he says matter-of-factly, wiggling his toes at me. I look down at them, admiring my work.

“You really do look so handsome in black nail polish, baby.” I tilt my head, looking at his feet from a different angle.

“Only you would be obsessed with my weird toes,” he says as he grabs his phone and changes the song we’re listening to. Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge begins to play, making us both scream with excitement, loving this song from our youth. We shout, belting the lyrics out together.

I straddle Bash and dance on top his hips as we sing to each other, laughing and forgetting all about the death we’re planning. “You know this song is exactly how I felt when we first met,” he says to me as I settle down enough to roll my eyes.

“Right,” I reply sarcastically, still feeling like the girl who never deserved the man beneath her.

“I don’t understand why you always negate my confessions,” he says quietly. “We fucked all the time. I spent the night at your house. Why do you seem to think I was lying while doing all that shit?”

“I don’t know,” I deflect as Bash waits for me to answer, not accepting my half-assed reply. “Probably because I’m ashamed of who I’ve become. What I’ve had to do to survive and what I still need to do to be freed. I can’t help but wonder if you’ll take it all back when it gets to be too much. It already is. So, I’m trying to stay detached to a certain extent to protect myself. When you bring up the past, it makes that really hard to do.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I realize we’ve been through it this week, but Alina, there is no one for me, but you. And I’ve literally been around the world, fucked my share of gorgeous women and you’re the only one I see, baby.” He lifts himself up on his elbows and kisses me deeply, just as a loud popping sound makes us jump.

“What the fuck was that?!” I scream, knowing damn well the noise was from a discharged gun.

“Holy fuck!” Bash shouts as he throws me to the mattress and runs out of his bedroom. I’m hot on his heels as we hit the second floor and descend to the alcove outside. A car screeches around the driveway, the passenger side window rolling down as Luke hangs his body out of the car.

Very much alive, his head only bandaged from the candle incident. His eyes are wide in a manic sort of way as he cackles dangerously.

“See you tomorrow, kitten!!” he yells as he howls with laughter and waves his hand at us, a gun clearly clutched in his fingers. He shoots off a few rounds into the air as the car he’sin disappears down the driveway. Sebastian pushes my body behind his protectively.

“Bash!” I scream as we both stand there shaking. He looks at me, dazed. “Yourmom!!” It’s all I can manage. She’s the only person around that Luke would think to harm due to her relationship with Sebastian. His eyes widen as he sprints for the other side of the house. We run into the living room, searching around in a frenzied panic.

“Mom?!” Bash shouts, terror lacing his voice as we hear a gurgle from behind the counter that frames the kitchen directly behind us. “Fuck!!” he exhales through tears as he runs towards the sound and ducks down beneath the cabinets. I’m a step behind him.

He grabs her hand. It’s covered in her own blood. She’s bleeding out from her stomach. Bash yells for something to help try and stop it. I spot a towel on the counter, knowing it’s too late. She’s barely breathing, and her face is drained of all color. She’s already more dead than alive. I crouch down next to her. My knees sink into warm blood.

She has tears streaming down her face. She looks at Bash, whose jaw is trembling uncontrollably as he watches the life drain from his mother’s eyes. “I’m… sorry,” she mumbles to him. He says nothing back as he continues to cry. She grabs my hand next. I cling to her, searching her face, the same one I bruised in protection of Bash as she tries to come up with her last words. “Thank…” she begins on a sob, but her sentence is cut short and soon her eyes and mouth still, her empty stare settling into the ceiling above us.

Neither of us say anything for a minute. And then Bash releases a howl to rival any animal I’ve ever heard. He runs his hands through his hair, blood streaking his temples and scalp, as he screams and screams. I have no idea what to do. But forwhatever reason, Cade’s face comes into my mind. I text him first, knowing he’s on the force. He responds a few seconds later.

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