Page 43 of Hold On

I cling to Bash as we run to his car and get in without saying a word. He turns the key in the ignition with incredible force and we peel out as fast as we can, allowing silence to fall between us as we drive. The rain picks up once more as we flee the scene and soon after, I feel the warmth of Bash’s hand over my thigh. I grip it in my own, even though I can’t turn my face to him yet. We’re safe for now. But we’re so fucked if Luke survives this.

I know he will.

Like I said before, I’m not that lucky.

Chapter Twenty-Five - Now

Sebastian:

I’m too freaked out to ask her what happened. Her clothing is torn, she’s got fresh marks on her face as though she’s been hit, and her eyes look crazy as she stares out of the windshield at the rain.

Fuck, she’s so beautiful.

Her purse sits in her lap, her knuckles white as she grips the strap of it. We don’t say anything as I drive her back to my place. My mom is waiting in the window but backs away when she sees me glare at her as I go to retrieve Alina from the passenger’s side of the car. I don’t have time for her fucking shit right now.

I try to touch Alina, to grab her hands and gently help her from her seat, but she gets angry at me and thrashes her arms. I back away, not really sure what to do. She’s breathing heavily, sucking in heaps of air desperately. I’m worried she’s going to hyperventilate. I feel so out of my element. What do I have at my disposal to help her?

“Lina Girl,” I say softly, and she shakes her head angrily, glaring at me.

“Don’t fucking call me that,” she growls. I hold my hands up, trying to look submissive.

“Ok,” I nod at her to assure her I’m listening. “Can I bring you inside?” She shakes her head no again, aggressively denyingme. “Can you tell me what’s going on?” I pry further before she rips into me.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Bash! Don’t touch me! Don’t help me! Stop being so fucking nice to me!!! I don’t deserve it!! Just leave me the fuck alone!” Her screams fill the driveway over the rain. I see my mom move in the window as she watches the whole thing. Alina notices too. “Go fuck yourself, you judgmental bitch!!” she screeches. My mother’s face drains of all color behind the glass. “You fucking left your son todie!You have no right to look down upon me and my life!! I was the only one there for Bash while your husband beat him to death! He wanted to kill himself because of you both!!”

The rain is soaking my clothing as my mom’s eyes meet mine. I stare back at her, my face hardened to her shock. Alina’s words are true and they’re out in the open now. I’m not sorry for what she’s said.

Lina is sobbing in the car, the door open and water pelting her as she cracks before me, completely breaking like I did the night before in the detention room. I have a sudden idea and grab the key to the shed, working it off my key ring and handing it outstretched to her.

“Alina,” I say loudly as the raindrops starts to fall harder. She looks up at me, her beautiful face a canvas of devastation and destruction. “Take this key and go to the shed. You’ll be alone. Just take care of yourself and call me if you need anything.” She looks to the key, her lip trembling. I know she wants to take it, but inside her eyes, I see the battle waging. The words that are flowing through her mind and telling her why she isn’t worth it, why she doesn’t deserve my handout.

But she fuckingdoes.

So, I take the key and throw it on the ground between us. I turn back to the house and enter my mom’s side, scaring her away from the window. Making sure she’s up the stairs with herdoor closed, I leave and enter my own side of the house. I walk all the way up to my room and spy on Alina from the blinds. She does exactly as I hoped she would.

When all eyes are off of her, she crumples. She cries and holds herself, eventually leaving the car and taking the key in her hand from the ground. She walks through the alcove, and I run to the window on the far side of my room that overlooks the backyard. I see her purple hair disappear behind the tree line, where the pond hides below.

She’s safe.

She’s safe in the place I made for her.

I throw my wet clothes off and stumble to the shower, trying not to fall completely apart.

Alina:

I unlock the door to the shed, tearing my clothing off. I’m sobbing as I stumble to the window and open it, trying to ease my anxiety and aching heart with the sound of the rain. It beats on the surface of the pond, allowing me to feel a little better as it lulls me into a submissive state.

I’d give anything to have Bash here with me, but I’m angry at him. For freely giving my undeserving ass anything I need without question. I’m not his problem, yet he keeps taking me on. I’m trying to push him away because of it. Yet another part of me wants to crawl into his arms and cry into his chest, begging for his comfort.

I love him so fucking much. Sebastian fucking Cox. The most handsome man of my fucked up dreams. I was obsessed with him then and nothing’s changed now. Including the space separating us from each other.

I just need to calm down. I need to relax for a second. But I know it’s deeper than that. The anxiety raging through me. Mybones rattle from the force of my shaking body. This shit with Luke just got very real. And I’m not sure what to do.

I run to the door, throwing it open, sprinting to the edge of the porch as I puke over the side of it. My bare knees hit the wood as I purge myself of the physical anxiety I’m feeling. I can’t stop trembling. I’m not even fucking cold, just full-blown panicking. I’m sweating everywhere, liquid dripping from my armpits, covering my top lip and forming behind my bent knees. I need Bash more than ever, but my pride is forcing me inside and under the covers of the bed alone.

I don’t even know where my phone is.

Thrownsomewherein my haste to undress.

---