Page 67 of The Spotlight Effect

ALEXIA

Iwoke up ten minutes ago from a nightmare about Griffin again. I downed three glasses of water and took a shower to wash the sweat off. Now I’m just laying here staring at the ceiling. Before falling asleep, I called Gray, but he didn’t answer. Lia sent Beatrix the video she took via Instagram and now it’s up to them to do what they want with it.

My mind has been swirling with thoughts since I got home. The best part about being in LA is that I'm accomplishing my dream. I get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to record one of my songs and be in a very popular TV show. It’s a dream come true, but I don’t think I was ready for it. I also think I might have feelings for Gray, but I don’t know what to do about it. I feel like I like him but then it’s like something telling me I shouldn’t.

I roll out of bed, put on my bunny slippers, and head downstairs. The lights are on, and I can see my mom and Lia sitting in the living room as I come down the stairs. “Can’t sleep?” Lia asks me.

“Yeah,” I reply.

“I’ll get you a drink,” Lia says then stands up to walk to the kitchen. I go around the sofa and take a seat on the sofa my mom is sitting on.

“Did you take your medicine?” Mom asks.

“Not today, well yesterday,” I answer, honestly.

“You need to take it every day. No more skips, Alexia,” my mom tells me.

“Yeah, we don’t need a repeat of sophomore mental hospital. Considering you went twice,” Lia says, coming back with a bottle of water. I just flick her off with a fake smile. Lia looks down at her phone and then gets up and starts looking around.

“How are you feeling?” my mom asks.

“The best I can be,” I answer.

“And how do you feel about Gray?” my mom asks like she’s reading my mind.

“How did you know? Never mind. I’m figuring that out.”

“Why is that?” my mom asks.

“I feel like I’m just not ready or suitable to date a person. I mean, who wants to love someone who has PTSD from years ago?”

“Lexi, that's not how that works, sweetheart. Don’t let this stop you from seeing how you feel or asking him how he feels. You are lovable, so, so lovable. Take a chance,” she tells me.

“Maybe.” My mom has always been good at advice, even when she’s not trying. I love her for that.

Lia turns the TV to Hollywood News, and on it, they are playing the video she took earlier of Oliver Archer yelling at his kids and hitting Grayson. “Who sent the video in?” Mom asks.

“Beatrix,” Lia answers.

I can’t believe she exposed this, but everyone gets tired of shit after a while.

The host is explaining what happens in the video and they are saying what will happen next. Now I’m even more worried and I’m scared. What will Beatrix do now? What will Gray do now?

Laying backin bed I take my phone off the charger and open my notes app and begin typing out how I’m feeling. My notes app may be my favorite app on my phone. I have like thirty different folders. Some are dreams, lyrics that come to mind, thoughts, passwords, things I need to remember, and some random things I learn and never want to forget. I have everyone’s birthdays listed and favorite things. Recently, I’ve dedicated one to Gray and everything about him.

After typing how I feel, I feel relieved. I decided to go through and reply to Faith’s texts asking if I was okay and about the segment of Hollywood News. I tell her what happened from my point of view. I reply to Scarlett, Charlie, Emerson, Zara, and Raven, all asking if I am okay. I say yes. After replying to everyone I know I don’t want to go to sleep alone tonight. I feel as If I wouldn’t be able to even if I tried. I get out of bed and walk to Lia’s room with my charger and a blanket.

I creep inside and see her lying in bed on her phone. “Can I join?” I ask and Lia moves over.

“Of course,” Astrid says, I look around and Lia holds up her phone, showing Astrid on the phone.

“We’ve been waiting for you to come,” Lia says.

I plug my changer up in the outlet by the desk and place my Crocs next to the desk and walk over to the bed. Lia moves over a little more, so I crawl in. “What. A. Fucking. Day,” Astrid says.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” I sigh.

“I think you should give yourself a chance to feel whatever you feel for Gray,” Lia says randomly.

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