Page 86 of Never the Best

She looked at me for a long moment, and then she smiled—a real, genuine smile that made my chest ache in the best possible way. Then she gave me more when she whispered, “Rhett, I love you.”

“I’m the luckiest man alive,” I whispered, humbled by her courage, by her ability to forgive me and love me.

We found our way to the blanket, and I turned on the mosquito repellant, which Pearl said showed I was smarter than I looked.

We lay, looking up at the sky, holding hands. The world was quiet around us, and I felt like we were exactly where we were meant to be—togetherand at peace.

When we went home, we made love, and it was like it was the first time for us together. It wasn’t that we wanted to pretend the past didn’t happen—but it was necessary to know that the past didn’t affect us, and this was a new beginning for both of us. We weren’t teenagers any longer. We were new people, better people.

She was already in bed when I got in, slid behind her, and spooned her. We’d become comfortablesleepingtogether, and I instinctively knew having sex, for us, would be organic.

I turned her onto her back and covered her body with mine. Letting her feel me through my shorts.

She cupped my cheek.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yes,” she replied confidently.

“Any time you feel?—”

“I won’t. I want you.”

“Thank fuckin’ God, Pearl, because I’m starved for you.”

I kissed her, soft and slow, but it turned demanding because we both needed it, desperately.

“Pearl, darlin’, I need you naked.”

I saw a flicker of worry, and then she nodded as if making a decision. In a way, she was. The last time she’d been naked with me had changed both our lives.

I removed her tank top reverently. Her heart beat fast. Her breathing was choppy. She was aroused; I could see that, but she was also nervous.

I stroked her breasts. “They’re beautiful.”

Her tits were full, smaller than they had been, but then she’d lost so much weight. She was thinner. There were stretch marks over her stomach and hips. Beautiful silver lines that told the story of her courage, how she’d overcome hell.

I suckled a nipple, and she almost came off the bed. She stroked my back, and I felt the acceptance in her touch. She was letting me in. She trusted me. This was momentous for both of us. I never thought I’d be here, in this place with her, ever again, and that the universe had given me this chance filled me with gratitude. Pearl was my gift, my reward for working to become a better version of myself.

I slid down her body, and she stiffened slightly when I got between her legs. I looked up at her, gauging, waiting to see how she felt. She took a deep, shuddering breath and then smiled at me.

I would continue to seek consent at every step of making love with her—until there would come a day when she would give in because it was natural, and all her fears would be vanquished. I knew that day would come. It could take time, certainly, but I knew we’d get there because Pearl was the strongest person I knew.

I licked her and groaned at her taste. Perfect. My Pearl was perfect.

She writhed as I suckled her clit, and stroked her G-spot until she was screaming her release. I looked up at her, feeling like a triumphant warrior, and she was the rich spoils of my victory.

I shucked my shorts and looked at her, waiting for her to tell me it was okay for me to come inside of her.

“I have an IUD.”

I nodded, feeling emotion swarm through me and fill me up. Forgiveness never tasted this good, this sweet, this humbling.

“Do you know you’re the most beautiful woman I know?”

She giggled then. It was a full, rich, incredible sound coming from my Pearl, the one who’d had such sadness in her life.

I flipped us, so she was on top of me. She gave me an enquiring look.

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