Page 76 of Never the Best

He lifted himself to kiss my nose. “Ialwaysthought you were beautiful. Eventhen. We were young, it was your first time, and I’d had a few sexual?—”

“Few?” I mocked.

“Few,” he maintained. “I was seventeen, Pearl.” He traced my lips with a finger, his eyes somber. “You were so sensual. I’d never had sex with someone so into it…and, in fact, soinnocentlyinto it. You didn’t make sounds because you heard it on a porn video. You were genuine. I loved that. I loved making love with you.”

“Then why?” I asked, my eyes filling with tears.

He looked in pain when he saw that I was still hurt from what had happened half a lifetime ago.

“I didn’t want to admit that I’d fallen for the….”

I waited a long moment, but he remained silent.

“Say it,” I ordered.

“Don’t make me, Pearl,” he begged.

I shook my head as tears rolled down my cheeks. “Say it.”

He took a deep breath as he wiped my tears. “That I’d fallen for the fat girl.”

“You thought I was fat?”

He shook his head, and I saw his eyes were moist as well. I wasn’t the only one hurting, and somehow, because he carried part of the pain, it was lighter inside me.

“I thought you were smart, beautiful, fun, interesting. I thought you were special. I wanted to spend time with you. Ienjoyedtalking to you. I hated what I did to you. Foryears, Pearl. The first time I apologized…fuck, I was such an asshole.”

I chuckled. “You were.”

“I was surprised to see you in Savannah for Spring Break. I…I’d been waiting for years to say I was sorry, and then I bungled it.”

I sniffled. “You refused to validate how I felt, Rhett; instead, you focused on how being cruel to me madeyoufeel.”

“I know.” He rolled over so he was on top of me, cradling me with his body. “I’ll never hurt you again, not intentionally.”

I couldn’t speak because my emotions were loud, clanging inside me like cymbals at a parade.

“Please forgive me.” He kept kissing me as he spoke. My lips. My forehead. My cheek.

“I do.”

“Yeah?”

I gave him a watery smile. “I can’t forgive the boy, but I forgive the man.”

“I know it’s too soon. I understand that. But I need to tell you, Pearl. I love you. I havefallen in lovewith you.”

I gaped at him.

He nuzzled my nose. “I’ve never been in love with a woman. I didn’t even know that was what I felt until I saw you in your bedroom that day. I don’t want to live my life without you.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him gently. “I don’t know how I feel.”

“I didn’t tell you because I want you to reciprocate; I told you so you know to trust me. We’re goin’ to date. We’re goin’ to do this right.”

“We are?”

“I know it’s ass-backward since we had sex fifteen years ago, and I just gave you the best orgasm of your life.”

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