Page 52 of Never the Best

And suddenly, all the feelings I’d been trying to suppress—the attraction, the confusion, the pull I felt every time he was near me—came rushing to the surface like a tidal wave.

But along with that came darkness and a chill that went all the way to the bone.

He doesn’t want you, a voice in my head whispered, cruel and familiar.Why would he? You’re damaged, Pearl. A mess. You’ve spent years trying to fix yourself, and even now, you can barely hold it together when things get messy.

The voice grew louder, sharper, as if it had been waiting for the perfect moment to strike.You’re not beautiful like Josie. Why would someone like him want someone like you?

I swallowed hard, my throat dry, and my hands trembled slightly as I reached for my glass of iced tea. I took a sip, but even the cool liquid felt wrong, like my body was rejecting it.

Putting anything edible inside me felt impossible now, the familiar knot of anxiety tightening in my stomach. The room seemed to close in around me, the conversation fading into the background as the voice in my head kept going, relentless.Don’t eat or drink any more, it whispered.You don’t deserve to, not after indulging in such ridiculous thoughts.

I placed the glass back on the table.

“Pearl?” Rhett’s voice pulled me back, and I looked up to find him watching me, his brows furrowed in concern.

“Hmm?” I tried to sound casual.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his gaze holding mine.

“I’m fine,” I said, and because I needed everyone not to focus on me, I added, “You made a rather big decision. Are you sure you weren’t hasty?”

What I wanted to ask was:Why did you do it?Why now?

“No. In fact, I think I’ve been too slow in doin’ this,” he affirmed confidently.

Hattie and Missy chimed in, offering more words of encouragement. I nodded along, forcing a smile when it seemed appropriate.

By the time Rhett left and the house quieted again, I felt raw and exhausted. Aunt Hattie touched my arm gently as I stood to leave. “You alright, darlin’?” she asked, her eyes searching mine. “You’re looking rather pale.”

“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just tired.”

“Stay for dinner,” she suggested. “Missy is making?—”

“I have dinner at home,” I lied. Just thinking about eating made me nauseous.

She studied me for a moment longer before nodding. “Alright. Get some rest.”

When I left Aunt Hattie’s place, I saw Rhett leaning against the porch railing, as if he had been waiting for me.

“Hey.” He fell in step with me as we walked to my cottage. “You good?”

I nodded, forcing another smile. “I think that’s my question.”

Rhett shrugged. “I’m…relieved. I never wanted to marry her.”

“Then why did you propose?”

“She was pregnant. She said it was mine. She told my family it was mine. Not much I could do.”

“Doesn’t it bother you to keep being a good ol’ Southern boy?” I asked acidly. “And this is 2024, you don’t have to marry someone ‘cause you knocked them up.”

“I know. ButthenI felt the pressure to do the right thing.”

“Andnow?” I asked as I bent down to lift a fake rock where I kept my cottage keys.

“Now,” he paused and waited until I straightened, and then brushed his lips against my cheek, “Now, I want to be more like you.”

“What?” I gaped at him, clutching the house keys.

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