"I've been raised to care for the Vanderbilt name. You know how that goes?"
"I do! Take Gabe Rhodes. He took over the Rhodes hotel business. His brother Rafe, on the other hand, wanted to get into academia, and the family was fine with it. Gabe wanted to marry Aurora, his parents supported him. They share the same values. Can you see the difference between your situation and his?"
"I don't have any brothers like you do," I pointed out.
"It doesn't matter, Rhett," Royal explained patiently. "What you need to think about is that this is youronlylife. This is not a drill. You marry Josie, who you obviously don't like no matter the show you put on for everyone else—you'll be unhappy for the rest of youronlylife."
I stared at my drink, the amber liquid catching the light, swirling slightly as I tilted the glass.
Royal arched an eyebrow. “Why are you getting married, Rhett?”
"Because I knocked her up, and now, even though there is no baby, I'm expected to."
He shrugged. “I got married because I found someone I can’t imagine living without. Someone who makes me better. Someone who feels like home.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Josie feels more like a real estate deal. Great on paper, looks good to the outside world, but inside….” I trailed off.
“Then why would you do this?” he askedexasperated.
I hesitated, swirling my drink again. “Because it’s easier to keep moving forward than to stop and ask yourself if you’re going the wrong way.”
Royal leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. “That’s not a reason, man. That’s inertia.”
That was the word, I thought,inertia, that made the world put one foot after the other. We didn't want to fuck with the status quo, so we kept making the same mistakes over and over again.
"I know," I confessed. "But if Iinternalizethat, I'll be stepping into a free fall that I'm not sure I’ll survive."
My friend Sage joined us then. “Sorry, I’m late.”
She gave Royal a quick hug and did the same with me before taking a seat. She looked from Royal to me and raised her eyebrows. “Who died?”
“I think he’s reevaluating his social life,” Royal mocked.
Sage’s eyes widened. “Tell me you’re going to dump that bitch.”
“Told ya.” Royal raised his glass smugly.
A server came by, and Sage ordered a Sazerac before focusing on me again. “You can’t stand her.”
“How will it look, Sage?”
“Like you can’t stand her,” she offered and then shook her head as if disgusted with me. “Why the hell are you so afraid of your father?”
“I’m not afraid of him,” I snapped. “I respect him.”
“Why?” Sage asked, bewildered. “The man is so conservative he thinks women who wear pantsuits are lesbian and should be put to death.”
Alas, that was only aslightexaggeration. “I’ll lose my family if I do this.” I had been raised to respect my elders, take care of my family, and be the man I was supposed to be.
“Maybe they aren’t worth keeping.” Sage put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“You should talk,” I shot back. When you have no defense for yourself, you go on offense.
“I should.” She smiled. “I know what it feels like to sacrifice your happiness for doing right by the family. I paid for it…I’mstillpaying for it.”
My friends’ words stayed with me as I escaped once again, this time leaving Savannah for a conference in Newport Beach. I was relieved because that would give me a break from the incessant familial nagging,andI was excited because Pearl was going to be at the same conference.
The conference was being held at the opulent Resort at Pelican Hill, perched on the bluffs above Newport Beach, with sweeping ocean views that seemed almost unreal. The place was straight out of a luxury travel magazine, all Italian-inspired architecture—terracotta roofs, colonnades, and lush green courtyards dotted with fountains. Even the air smelled expensive—of salt from the ocean breeze and a scent that was faintly citrusy, probably pumped in through hidden vents.